{"id":2154,"date":"2018-11-23T12:06:34","date_gmt":"2018-11-23T12:06:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/second-year-blues-the-realities-of-my-doctorate-so-far\/"},"modified":"2025-11-25T11:08:03","modified_gmt":"2025-11-25T05:38:03","slug":"second-year-blues-the-realities-of-my-doctorate-so-far","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/second-year-blues-the-realities-of-my-doctorate-so-far","title":{"rendered":"Second year blues: The realities of my doctorate so far"},"content":{"rendered":"

I never actually had time to process that I was actually doing a PhD. <\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I applied whilst studying an Italian language and culture course on the beautiful Lake Garda, spending my days sweating in a lecture theatre until 1pm, to then eat a huge lunch and fry on the beach for the rest of the afternoon. I returned completely relaxed and extremely\u00a0tanned, considering I\u2019m English. Once home, I found out the Italian air-con had dried out my lungs and given me whooping cough, and I stayed in bed for 2 weeks.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Without confirmation of my successful PhD application, I returned to Greenwich, moved into halls and worked as a coordinator for the Undergraduate Freshers\u2019 Fortnight. By October, with an unofficial-feeling email and handshake from the Professor, I was already weeks into my\u00a0PhD.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then, I got cocky. In November, I was upset that I didn\u2019t have an office. My dream of a PhD was swanning about the department, being known by everyone, with little trinkets on my office desk. In reality, I was sitting with undergraduates in the University library, grumpily shuffling the pile of books and papers to fit around the computer, if someone decided to sit next to me. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking that my position was so special, I went straight to the Postgraduate Research Office and gave them a piece of my mind. Well\u2026 that was a mistake. I had only been in the position a month and I was assuming, like any student; the higher I go, the more something will be done about it. I was shooting myself in the foot anyway because I didn\u2019t want to be a \u2018student\u2019 (I have another\u00a0blog explaining why<\/a>). In a nutshell, I received severe reprimanding and started to understand that I had to treat this like a job.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

18 months in and I\u2019m actually glad I don\u2019t have an office. I love to chat, and the meetings I have with my supervisor can go on for hours. Despite this, if I\u2019m interrupted when I\u2019m in the zone,\u00a0it\u2019s like waking a dragon. The library or my desk at home keeps me focused and lets me work at my own pace, without regular interruptions.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s a lonely job. I go days without having an adult conversation. I read and write and research. I walk to University, teach, come home \u2013 read, write, research. I chat with my Guinea Pig about the day and by the time my partner gets home, I\u2019m too tired to string a sentence together.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, it\u00a0does make you feel quite isolated. And yes, you\u2019re part of the department but you\u2019re not \u2018part of the department\u2019. You\u2019re only there when you go there for a meeting; but, again, I\u2019ve learnt that the more I go there, the more people recognise me and therefore stop to chat. As a consequence, I have to plan a good few hours out of the day for a one-hour meeting after I\u2019ve stopped on the stairwell, at a few offices, and finally had my meeting. Every time I see my supervisor, she\u2019s had a day of work planned and has been constantly interrupted by students and colleagues. As a warm and welcoming individual, I\u2019m not surprised and I was guilty of the same as an undergraduate, but this has also reminded me of the perks of that incredibly silent \u2018silent study room\u2019 in the library.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The realities are that in fact, it is just like a job. At the beginning, you step out of line because you\u2019re unsure of the system. You have to make-do with an ex-colleague\u2019s locker, that you\u2019re sure something is living in the back of, and smile awkwardly at the receptionist that you\u2019re sure should recognise you by now. It feels crap. You might hit a wall and think your research means nothing. You might not have spoken to anyone in the same boat as you\u00a0but<\/b>\u00a0as it goes on and you get into the swing of your own work and your own research and your own thing, the necessity of these things start to fade. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s unexpected, but a huge learning curve. You\u2019re suddenly able to get over that wall and\u00a0coherently fill out reels of ethics proposal forms and write abstracts for conference proposals. You meet the same person at a few faculty events and end up going for coffee and realising you are exactly at the same point in your research. I can now see when a paper has a flaw and when data doesn\u2019t quite sit right, without having to run it by someone else. I understand that some days, I\u2019m just going to have to read and some days I get to play with fascinating\u00a0equipment. I get to do each of these when I want to and with the breaks I want.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The realities are that a PhD is isolating but a completely individual entity that can be molded exactly to suit you. Don\u2019t forget the importance of your supervisor, your department, your colleagues and those conferences that feel like a life time. But at lunch, you get to chat with people\u00a0who feel just as you do and are desperate for a coffee next week.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Harriet Lowe\u00a0<\/i>(<\/span><\/span><\/span>@<\/b>HarrietLoweGRN<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/span>)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/i> is a PhD Candidate in Applied Linguistics at the University of Greenwich in the UK.\u00a0This story was originally published on May 8, 2017, on Harriet\u2019s blog<\/a>, (available here<\/a>) and has been republished here with permissio<\/i>n.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I never actually had time to process that I was actually doing a PhD. I applied whilst studying an Italian language and culture course on the beautiful Lake Garda, spending my days sweating in a lecture theatre until 1pm, to then eat a huge lunch and fry on the beach for the rest of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":942,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSecond year blues: The realities of my doctorate so far<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Harriet Lowe is a PhD Candidate in Applied Linguistics at the University of Greenwich, UK. 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