{"id":2293,"date":"2019-02-15T12:43:19","date_gmt":"2019-02-15T12:43:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/the-emotional-roller-coaster-of-graduate-advising\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:37:08","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:37:08","slug":"the-emotional-roller-coaster-of-graduate-advising","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/the-emotional-roller-coaster-of-graduate-advising","title":{"rendered":"The emotional roller coaster of graduate advising"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wasn\u2019t supposed to be in the office that Tuesday morning, but the deadline for a conference paper was looming, and I had to escape my house to concentrate on writing.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When someone knocked on my door\u2014three loud bangs that made me actually jump\u2014my initial feeling was severe grumpy cat irritation. I DO NOT HAVE OFFICE HOURS TODAY, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW I\u2019M HERE?!! <\/i>(For those who find this response uncharitable, please keep in mind our advising context\u2026 with a thousand majors and open advising, it can be a zoo.) I contemplated not answering.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But I\u2019m so glad I did because when I pulled the door open (standing in the way, so no one could just walk inside. I told you, grumpy cat style), Kyle was there with this knowing look.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cYes?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Him: \u201cYES.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: Goosebumps.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Cue: Hugging and a little loud exclaiming. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Kyle, my first graduate advisee, had just gotten the call. He was accepted to his first choice doctoral program with full funding and an assistantship. I don\u2019t think we even exchanged full sentences at that point. Just \u201cOMG I got ins\u201d and \u201cYou did its\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m SO proud of yous.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Although the situation called for champagne, we grabbed lunch on account of it being 11:30 and a work day. Over chow mein and honey walnut shrimp, listening to Kyle bursting with joy as he talked to his family, I realized how utterly full of emotions I was, too.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Elation. Happiness. Contentment. Pride. And RELIEF.<\/b> I didn\u2019t consider until that moment how knotted up I\u2019d been since Kyle started applying to doctoral programs. With each day of waiting, I was thrown back to my own grad school anxieties and wondering how to respond, should things not go his way. Thank goodness it didn\u2019t come to that!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Since taking over as the director for my department\u2019s Master\u2019s program, I\u2019ve realized that a lot of this job, as well as teaching and advising graduate students in general, is emotion work. I feel so much<\/i> for these students. I empathize at conference paper rejections (we\u2019ve ALL been there, and recently, too, friends). I commiserate when \u201cthat time of the semester\u201d hits (it\u2019s not just students who get crunched). I mourn the loss of sleep, share in the laughter, roll my eyes at the cohort drama (nowadays we save that crap talking for post-faculty meetings).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s wonderful and tiring and inspiring and overwhelming sometimes. I\u2019ve never seen so directly how my decisions as a professor and committee member affect people\u2019s lives\u2014who gets into the program, who gets the TA funding, what paper just isn\u2019t up to snuff, how much letters of recommendation really do matter.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s definitely a humbling experience.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But I wouldn\u2019t trade it for anything. Not after getting to nearly garrote Kyle with his Master\u2019s hood or seeing the shining faces of those I\u2019ve helped in some fashion, walk across the graduation stage into a new phase of life.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have the coolest job ever.<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Dr. Shawna Malvini Redden (@drshawna<\/a><\/em>) is a writer, speaker, professor, communication researcher, and consultant. This story was published on June 12, 2018, on Dr. Redden’s blog<\/a> (available here<\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wasn\u2019t supposed to be in the office that Tuesday morning, but the deadline for a conference paper was looming, and I had to escape my house to concentrate on writing. When someone knocked on my door\u2014three loud bangs that made me actually jump\u2014my initial feeling was severe grumpy cat irritation. I DO NOT HAVE OFFICE […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":955,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2667,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-faculty-experiences","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe emotional roller coaster of graduate advising<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dr. Shawna Malvini Redden is a writer, speaker, professor, communication researcher and consultant. 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