{"id":2354,"date":"2019-04-01T18:30:00","date_gmt":"2019-04-01T18:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/sometimes-i-cry-while-working-on-my-dissertation\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:37:05","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:37:05","slug":"sometimes-i-cry-while-working-on-my-dissertation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/sometimes-i-cry-while-working-on-my-dissertation","title":{"rendered":"Sometimes, I cry while working on my dissertation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Doing a dissertation is an emotionally draining process. It is known.\u00a0I have many different ways to cope, but I sometimes\u00a0find myself crying.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I am not alone in this; my sister was told at the beginning of her PhD Journey that if she did not cry at least twice in her first quarter, then there was something wrong with her.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I have not been shy about discussing the emotional toll of a PhD (see\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/dyslexicphd.wordpress.com\/2016\/03\/14\/pre-proposal-is-hell\/\" style=\"color:blue; text-decoration:underline\">Pre-proposal is Hell<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/dyslexicphd.wordpress.com\/2016\/05\/24\/not-a-marathon-not-a-sprint\/\" style=\"color:blue; text-decoration:underline\">Not a Marathon, Not a Sprint<\/a>). So today, I thought I would put it out there: sometimes, I cry when I work on my dissertation and that\u2019s OK with me.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\"><b>I cry when:<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I think about working on my dissertation proposal.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I see the file where my dissertation proposal lives.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I see the document itself.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I open the file.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">As I type.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I hit save.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I close the file.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I put away my work.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\"><b>I cry because:<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I am tired and feel that I can\u2019t push anymore, even though I sleep and rest.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I can\u2019t make my arguments work properly.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I have made arguments in so many different ways, I feel I am going around in circles.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I will never be able to read enough to find all the right citations.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I think I am close to finishing, only to realize that I have just begun.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I finished my comps two years ago and still have no proposal defended.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I feel alone in this journey despite all the support I have from my husband, my sister, and my\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.phdproject.org\/\" style=\"color:blue; text-decoration:underline\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">PhD Project<\/a>\u00a0family.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I fear\u00a0that even when I finish, I will not be healthy enough to pursue my dream job of being a professor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">And yet, even after all the tears, I keep pushing.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\"><b>I keep pushing because:<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I love how\u00a0this process has already helped me see the world in a different way.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I am excited to see how much more I can learn.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I love asking questions about why the world works in a particular way.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I am getting the tools and skills to answer the questions I have.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I love having conversations about the nature of the social world.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I now have many different frameworks to understand the social world.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I love how people are weird and imperfect, and we create weird and imperfect organizations and systems.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"tab-stops:list 36.0pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">It is awesome to learn and study how these organizations and systems span generations of people and somehow remain functional (sometimes).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\"><b>But most of all, I keep pushing because it is the only way I will truly become a social scientist.<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Expanding your mind is not easy. Breaking down previous ways of looking at the world is not easy. Re-building the way you understand the world is not easy.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">So yes. There are tears.\u00a0But what is most important here is that, to me,\u00a0<b>the tears are worth it.<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><i>Claudia Gonz\u00e1lez\u00a0(<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/ScienceClau\"><b>@<\/b>ScienceClau<\/a>)\u00a0is a PhD Candidate in Strategic Management at the University of Washington. This story was published on August 30, 2016, on Claudia&#8217;s blog,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/dyslexicphd.wordpress.com\/\">Dyslexic PhD<\/a>\u00a0(available\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/dyslexicphd.wordpress.com\/2016\/08\/30\/i-cry-when-i-work\/\">here<\/a>) and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\"><b>\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>Related reading:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/feel-alone-join-a-group-that-supports-your-research-journey\/\">Feel alone? Join a group that supports your research journey<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Doing a dissertation is an emotionally draining process. It is known.\u00a0I have many different ways to cope, but I sometimes\u00a0find myself crying. I am not alone in this; my sister was told at the beginning of her PhD Journey that if she did not cry at least twice in her first quarter, then there was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1017,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2454,2669],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-researcher-stories","tag-stories-of-struggle"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sometimes, I cry while working on my dissertation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Claudia Gonz\u00e1lez is a PhD Candidate in Strategic Management at the University of Washington. 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