{"id":2395,"date":"2018-12-28T10:08:48","date_gmt":"2018-12-28T10:08:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/while-writing-about-your-academic-life-i-say-go-with-your-gut\/"},"modified":"2025-11-25T10:12:17","modified_gmt":"2025-11-25T04:42:17","slug":"while-writing-about-your-academic-life-i-say-go-with-your-gut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/while-writing-about-your-academic-life-i-say-go-with-your-gut","title":{"rendered":"While writing about your academic life, I say go with your gut"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few years ago, as part of my\u00a0Professional Doctorate, I started a diary about my working life. In my diary I wrote about the daily occurrences that made me happy, sad, and mad. But mostly \u2013 as it turned out \u2013 when I was mad.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I turned to my diary when things went wrong. When I was frustrated because a student had made a mistake. When I was angry because it later transpired that the student had hidden the mistake and the situation was now beyond rectification. When I lay awake at night worrying if I\u2019d dealt with the issue as best I could. And when, after weeks had passed, the student repeated the same mistake, and I was frustrated, angry, and lying awake all over again. The diary captured how I felt before I lost the raw emotion to the passage of time. I also wonder if it was cathartic. Getting it all down \u2018put\u2019 the feelings somewhere away from my head.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My diary entries are a powerful insight into my academic life, especially my role as a law clinic supervisor.<\/b> Clinicians have stories to tell. Most days, someone pops into my office to share a tale about their clinical life (\u201cI\u2019ve got this case\u2026 can I just sense check this with you?\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ll never believe what\u2019s happened! Right, how can I resolve this?\u201d). However, the stories tend to remain within law school walls, hidden away. I wanted to use my diary entries to facilitate a greater understanding of the role of the law clinic supervisor, and the culture of clinical teaching in law.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There was just one problem. I wasn\u2019t just writing about myself. My diary entries were entirely due to and dependent on the supervisory relationship I had with my students.\u00a0Even though I didn\u2019t name anyone in my diary, the more I wrote, the more I started to worry. I wondered how my students (past, present, and future) would react to my words. I panicked that they might query the efficacy of my supervision. I imagined complaints about my dithering, my abject failures, and my tendency to be exasperated.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In essence, I was concerned with relational ethics. I remember reading Carolyn Ellis\u2019 work on ethics in life and being dogged by the question she posed: How could I\u00a0discharge my relational responsibilities yet present my life in a complex and truthful way for readers<\/a>?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I considered fictionalisation.\u00a0Some researchers purposefully omit and intentionally add characters, places, and events. One of my favourite (fictional) accounts of life at an (imagined) university is Andrew Sparkes\u2019\u00a0Embodiment, Academics, and the Audit Culture: A Story Seeking\u00a0<\/a>Consideration<\/a>.<\/i> Although our protagonist, Jim, and other characters \u2013 including bruised colleague Paul and research impact factor obsessed Steve \u2013 are constructs, they are inspired by \u201cpartial happenings,\u201d \u201cechoes of conversations,\u201d and \u201cwhispers in corridors.\u201d Another option was to\u00a0obtain consent\u00a0from the students who\u00a0(anonymously) were part of my story.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My original intention was to read out a single diary entry at the\u00a02nd British Autoethnography Conference<\/a>. The entry contained 407 words; a perfect storm of confusion, annoyance, guilt, sympathy, and resolve following a conversation with one of my clinic students about their work. It captured the multifaceted connections a supervisor has with their law clinic students: mentor, colleague, boss, teacher, listening-ear, and careers advisor. But my worries about relational ethics wouldn\u2019t die down. In a fit of naive temerity, I even wrote to Carolyn Ellis to ask her about the decisions she made when\u00a0she wrote about her university life<\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In the end, I didn\u2019t fictionalise my story, and I didn\u2019t ask my students for consent. I went with my gut. And my gut told me that it wasn\u2019t right to let the diary entry into the public domain. So instead, I went to the conference and delivered a paper called \u201cShould I share my journal entry with you? An ethical dilemma faced by an experiential educator.\u201d<\/i> And then I wrote about my concerns in\u00a0this article<\/a>, just published in the latest edition of\u00a0Departures in Critical Qualitative Research.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I continue to be fascinated and challenged by the ethics of writing about my academic life. But even after all of the chapters and articles I have read, and conversations I have had, I come back to my gut every time. My gut lets me know if I have written something that needs further consideration before it goes to print.\u00a0My gut tells me if I need to alter events, or miss them out altogether. The struggle is part of the process. For when we do not worry about potential for exploitation or betrayal of others, that\u00a0might<\/i>\u00a0just be when the potential for damage is at its peak.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This blogpost is based on\u00a0Should I Share My Journal Entry With You? A Critical Exploration of Relational Ethics in Autoethnography,<\/a>\u00a0also available on\u00a0Northumbria NRL<\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Elaine Gregersen (@alawuntoherself<\/a><\/u>)\u00a0is an Associate Professor in Law at Northumbria University.\u00a0This story was published on January 11, 2018, on Elaine’s blog,\u00a0A Law Unto Herself<\/a>\u00a0(available\u00a0here<\/a>) and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few years ago, as part of my\u00a0Professional Doctorate, I started a diary about my working life. In my diary I wrote about the daily occurrences that made me happy, sad, and mad. But mostly \u2013 as it turned out \u2013 when I was mad. I turned to my diary when things went wrong. When […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1092,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2667,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-faculty-experiences","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhile writing about your academic life, I say go with your gut<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Elaine Gregersen is an Associate Professor in Law at Northumbria University. 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