{"id":2454,"date":"2019-04-29T18:04:07","date_gmt":"2019-04-29T18:04:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/separating-myself-from-my-science\/"},"modified":"2025-02-21T11:11:47","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T11:11:47","slug":"separating-myself-from-my-science","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/separating-myself-from-my-science","title":{"rendered":"Separating myself from my science"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">When I made this website, my intention was to create a profile website to highlight all of the super wonderful opportunities I\u2019ve had over the past 5 years during my Ph.D. program. I managed to get a few blog posts up describing some of the fun stuff I\u2019ve done that is adjacent to my core research, but more and more, I\u2019m realizing that I can also be a person that is separated from my identity as a scientist. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 I LOVE science; science is my life and it\u2019s one of the labels I\u2019m proud to wear. However, I\u2019m learning that I can wear many labels.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">In academic science fields, it\u2019s so easy to fall into a pattern of over-achievement and over-work. There\u2019s a never-ending list of things I could be doing at any given time, and it\u2019s hard for me to not feel guilty if I\u2019m not working on that to-do list. I also get very excited about new opportunities to go out into the field, help an undergrad with a project, or contribute my expertise for a colleague. Over commitment can be personally damaging even when it\u2019s out of love. I\u2019m learning to say \u201cno\u201d more often, and set better boundaries when I say \u201cyes!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Burnout is real. Burnout makes me physically sick and mentally exhausted. Burnout is something I need to avoid if I want to be at the peak of my scientific performance and productivity. It seems counter-intuitive, but I\u2019m learning that by setting stricter limits on when I work and what I choose to work on, I end up being more productive overall. There is a limit I hit in how many hours each week I dedicate to science and I\u2019m useless beyond that point. I\u2019m unlearning the mentality of 24\/7 work schedule, and it\u2019s making me a happier, more fulfilled person AND a better, more productive scientist.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">All of this is relatively easy for me to say now, but I\u2019m only reaching this point 5 years into grad school. As someone who has dealt with depression and anxieties for as long as I can remember, I have to dedicate time each day to practice a healthy mental attitude. I have to make a concerted effort to release myself of feelings of guilt for not spending that extra late night hour writing because I know I need to spend that hour with my partner instead. I have to constantly remind myself that it\u2019s ok and healthy to put the computer away at a certain time each night. It\u2019s ok to visit family and friends and have non-scientific interests that I can pursue. I keep telling myself \u201cit\u2019s ok to take care of yourself\u201d until I start to actually believe it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">After some really heavy burnout at the end of 2017, I decided that if I\u2019m going to finish my Ph.D. in 2018, I need to pace myself. So I made a list of personal and professional goals \u2013 two SEPARATE lists. And I began working on both of them. I cut out any extra commitments that weren\u2019t helping me achieve my goals. This was hard because I love volunteering and helping out any time I can. But then I remembered the feeling of exhaustion I face when I try to do too much and my decision to say \u201cno\u201d became a bit easier. I still need to remind myself that I still do a ton of work, so sometimes I\u2019ll make \u201caccomplishments\u201d lists instead of to-do lists. This helps me re-center myself and realize that even though I have so much that I still want to achieve, I\u2019ve already come a long way and I should be proud.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Personally, I\u2019ve been more invested in self-care. It started small \u2013 buying relaxing face masks and pampering my skin more. Then I started making time to get back into regular physical activity. I signed up for improv classes and regularly go see live theatre performances. I set aside 3 hours each week for a regular online Dungeons and Dragons campaign with some friends I made through Twitter. I go to bed when I\u2019m tired. I started exploring new flavors of loose leaf tea.\u00a0\u00a0I do these things because I\u2019m allowed to be a human outside of my work and I have worth beyond my output.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0in 0in 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Self care is a continuous journey and a constant practice. It\u2019s something I have to make time for each day, but it\u2019s getting easier. I am still wracked with anxieties about graduating, finding a post-doc position, performing on stage for the first time, and all the other responsibilities I have, but my anxieties are becoming more manageable now that I\u2019ve given myself permission to take care of my own physical, mental, and emotional health.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>Dr. Anna Boegehold\u00a0(<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/anna_boeg\">@<b>anna_boeg<\/b><\/a>) is a Postdoctoral Fellow at the Institute of Environmental Health Sciences. This story was published on March\u00a016,\u00a02018, on Dr. Boegehold&#8217;s\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/annaboegehold.wordpress.com\/\">blog\u00a0<\/a>(available\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/annaboegehold.wordpress.com\/2018\/03\/16\/separating-myself-from-my-science\/\">here<\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I made this website, my intention was to create a profile website to highlight all of the super wonderful opportunities I\u2019ve had over the past 5 years during my Ph.D. program. I managed to get a few blog posts up describing some of the fun stuff I\u2019ve done that is adjacent to my core [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1266,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2668,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-motivational-stories","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Separating myself from my science | Editage Insights<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dr. Anna Boegehold, a Postdoctoral Fellow at the Institute of Environmental Health Sciences. 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