{"id":2566,"date":"2019-05-10T11:04:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T11:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/i-said-no-for-a-whole-year-and-it-worked-out-brilliantly\/"},"modified":"2025-04-04T13:17:36","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T13:17:36","slug":"i-said-no-for-a-whole-year-and-it-worked-out-brilliantly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/i-said-no-for-a-whole-year-and-it-worked-out-brilliantly","title":{"rendered":"I said no for a whole year and it worked out brilliantly!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t plan it that way, it just happened. I realized a couple months ago, when I took on a few new things, that I had pointedly avoided taking on anything new or extra for over a year \u2013 since before my baby was born.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s advice that is often given, especially to women and people of underrepresented groups, who are likely to be asked to do a lot of extra jobs:\u00a0learn how to say no; don\u2019t waste your time on things that are not going to help advance your career;\u00a0set limits at the beginning of the year<\/a> for how many committees you will be on, how many papers you will review, how many conferences you will attend, etc., and then say no to any after that.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And I am guilty of taking on too many of those extra things that you don\u2019t get any career credit for \u2013 organizing a symposium, giving a lab tour, etc. When I was pregnant, I never consciously planned to not do any of those things after having a baby, but I wish I had, because it worked out brilliantly. It was simply that my home life was my number one priority, and I figured out what I had to get done at work each day, and did just that. Here\u2019s what that first year back at work looked like.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Day to day, I worked pretty short hours. In the mornings, my partner did daycare drop-off, so this was my alone time and I usually ended up getting stuff done at home and going in to work later in the morning. Throughout the day, I had to pump milk, cutting out ~30 minutes 3x, then 2x per day, and I am still maintaining one session a day. Then I wanted to leave work before rush hour and early enough to get a little bit of non-cranky baby time before baby bedtime. I always thought I could work a little in the evenings, but I was so tired, and rarely had anything urgent enough to warrant it that I seldom did anything other than answer emails. I did spend a number of evenings applying for jobs. So that was maybe 5 solid hours of work a day for a big chunk of the year.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course I was extremely efficient in those few hours, but while at work I just did the essentials. I ran my experiments, I helped others when needed to keep the lab\/experiments running, and I wrote papers. I attended meetings and only the most relevant research or professional development seminars. The only real \u2018extras\u2019 I did were serving on a panel and picking back up the facilitation of a career development group I had begun before taking my leave – things I really cared about. I did not write any grants. I did not start any new lines of research. I did not join any new groups or committees.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I went to two conferences when my baby was young (with my partner and\/or mother there to help take care of the baby), which I had signed up for while pregnant. I did not register for any future conferences, and I did not regret that one bit.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know exactly what changed after the first year, but things started to fall into place in a way that allowed me to pick up some new things. In part, things got more routine with the baby, but I didn\u2019t consciously think about that. At the same time, some appealing opportunities arose \u2013 some funding opportunities came up that I didn\u2019t want to pass up; some professional development opportunities seemed important enough for me to commit some time to. So now I\u2019m working just a little bit longer (still not more than 8 hours including evening work, on average) with less time out for pumping, and doing a few extra things. I feel good!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I basically trimmed the fat from my time, and I don\u2019t think anyone else was really affected. There was one opportunity I felt a little bad about missing that would have allowed me the opportunity to interact a little more closely with several PIs, but I couldn\u2019t work it out with my partner\u2019s schedule. Even including that, I felt virtually no work-related guilt the whole year. I attribute this to my actions matching my priorities \u2013 something that is easier said than done. An important aspect of this was that my mindset wasn\u2019t hugely different pre-baby \u2013 work was always just work to me \u2013 so I didn\u2019t have a major shift in priorities or learning how to re-balance them.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What about you? Would a period of saying NO to any extras help you re-prioritize?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

This story was published on April 11, 2017, on the blog, ‘<\/i>A Portrait of the Scientist as a Young Woman<\/i><\/a>‘ (available\u00a0<\/i>here<\/i><\/a>)\u00a0and has been republished here with permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t plan it that way, it just happened. I realized a couple months ago, when I took on a few new things, that I had pointedly avoided taking on anything new or extra for over a year \u2013 since before my baby was born. 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