{"id":2594,"date":"2019-05-15T09:26:14","date_gmt":"2019-05-15T09:26:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/i-cried-when-i-tried-to-get-out-of-a-conference-talk-and-couldnt\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:35:18","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:35:18","slug":"i-cried-when-i-tried-to-get-out-of-a-conference-talk-and-couldnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/i-cried-when-i-tried-to-get-out-of-a-conference-talk-and-couldnt","title":{"rendered":"I cried when I tried to get out of a conference talk and couldn&#8217;t"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I attended another conference this past week. It was very much the opposite of the conference I attended last month because it was much smaller, more focused, and was a basic science rather than clinically-focused conference. Despite having purposely submitted my poster abstract for this conference after the deadline to be considered for a short talk, my abstract was chosen. I cried when I got the email congratulating me on my interesting abstract. I cried when I tried to get out of the talk and couldn\u2019t. I cried when I found out that I was going to have to use a microphone. And I cried when I realized there was no escaping this talk and that I was going to have to do it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">This stupid talk has wreaked havoc on the last three weeks of my life. My fear of it was irrationally, far out of proportion to the actual \u201cthreat,\u201d but I suppose that is why it is called social anxiety disorder and not just nerves or shyness. The actual talk itself went super well, and I was able to successfully use the microphone without any problems. But I think the whole thing was so traumatic that in the long run, I am not sure it was a helpful experience to have gone through.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">I have had to give enough talks at this point that quite a few people are aware of my speaking anxiety even though most don\u2019t know about the more global social anxiety problem.\u00a0My advisor found me during one of the breaks at the conference and marched me up on the stage so that I could get used to being up there, holding the pointer, and holding the microphone. She told me to just stay up there as long as I needed, until I felt like I \u201cowned the stage.\u201d It felt really ridiculous, but at the same time, it was massively helpful.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Another funny thing happened before this talk. A grad student I know from prior classes (who does research in the same field as me), somehow found out how nervous I was for the talk. She sent a really encouraging email and admitted that she also has a lot of speaking anxiety. She took the time to come over to my lab and help me practice my talk earlier this week. We were chatting after I had run through the slides a few times, and she admitted that she had been struggling with anxiety and depression. And I was like, \u201cOMG I have been struggling hard core with social anxiety!\u201d So, it felt really good to get support and understanding from a fellow student.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin:0cm 0cm 10pt\"><span style=\"font-size:11pt\"><span style=\"line-height:115%\"><span style=\"font-family:Calibri,sans-serif\">Two conferences down, one to go. I have to give a talk at this last conference (which is really more of a symposium), and I think these talks are going to kill me.\u00a0<b>It is frustrating that I find my research so fascinating, but that social anxiety prevents me from being able to enjoy opportunities to share my passion with others.<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>The author of this story is a postdoctoral associate in the biomedical sciences where she engages in clinical research using magnetic resonance imaging. She enjoys biking, reading, and warm weather. This story was published on March 12, 2017, on the author\u2019s blog, <a href=\"https:\/\/scienceandsocialanxiety.wordpress.com\/\" style=\"color:blue; text-decoration:underline\">Science and Social Anxiety<\/a> (available <a href=\"https:\/\/scienceandsocialanxiety.wordpress.com\/2017\/03\/12\/conference-confessions-pt2\/\" style=\"color:blue; text-decoration:underline\">here<\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I attended another conference this past week. It was very much the opposite of the conference I attended last month because it was much smaller, more focused, and was a basic science rather than clinically-focused conference. Despite having purposely submitted my poster abstract for this conference after the deadline to be considered for a short [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":955,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2678,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-mental-health-in-academia","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I cried when I tried to get out of a conference talk and couldn\u2019t<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In this story, the author opens up about her struggle with social anxiety and 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