{"id":2624,"date":"2019-05-16T04:59:30","date_gmt":"2019-05-16T04:59:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/why-i-dont-mind-leaving-the-ivory-tower\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:35:18","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:35:18","slug":"why-i-dont-mind-leaving-the-ivory-tower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/why-i-dont-mind-leaving-the-ivory-tower","title":{"rendered":"Why I don’t mind leaving the ivory tower"},"content":{"rendered":"

In late October 2018, I drove from Atlanta to North Carolina for a job interview, setting my alarm for 5:30 am. According to Google Maps, the drive was 6 hrs. I didn\u2019t really have money for a hotel \u2013 and I kinda like long-distance driving \u2013 so attempting this as a one-day excursion became my plan. I drove there in my interview clothes, switching heels for sneakers; NPR on the radio until I crackled out of WABE service area. Then, I started scanning for country music stations.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My postdoc hadn\u2019t worked out. The first sign that things were going wrong came before my official start date, but it wasn\u2019t until ~2 months in I admitted to myself \u2013\u00a0I made a mistake coming here, this is a bad fit<\/i>. When I first got the postdoc offer, I played \u2018Thunder\u2019 by Imagine Dragons in celebration.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Just a young gun, with a quick fuse,<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was uptight, wanna let loose\u2026<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Before long, I was giving heavier airtime to another song with equal\u00a0levels of defiance in its lyrics, but aiming in a different direction:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

They don\u2019t tell me nothing, so I find out all I can,<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026But I, I don\u2019t mind. No I, I don\u2019t mind.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Later, I would talk about what went wrong, and wave towards a list of minor mismatches and small disappointments. Maybe I could have endured one or two hits from that list and remained a productive scientist. In the end, there was too much incremental unhappiness. My research productivity spiralled downwards.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

By sun-up, it was raining heavily. Down to a two-lane highway, I found myself trailing a lorry, caught in the blinding plumes it threw back onto my windshield. I moved onto the inside lane and started to overtake. The lorry was throwing even more water to its sides; the strength of the spray made my car shake uncontrollably. I couldn\u2019t see a thing; the steering wheel was loose in my hands. My instinct was to jerk out of the way of this dangerous onslaught \u2013 knowing that such a motion would cause me to crash off the road. In the rear-view mirror, I saw a car pull into the lane behind me \u2013 I couldn\u2019t slam on the breaks. Shaking, I forced the accelerator down. The wall of water intensified and my car trembled, but I pushed forward until I\u2019d cleared the lorry.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This job interview wasn\u2019t going to be successful. Maybe my energy projected this as I pulled into a quiet Research Triangle suburb \u2013 rain still dripping off the glossy coverage of leaves. I was interviewing at a small, local company. LinkedIn trawling suggested they tended to hire PhDs from nearby universities. Sometimes, I worry I\u2019m too much of a brash city-slicker, sometimes that I\u2019m too introverted (both of them can\u2019t be right). There\u2019s never been a professional environment where I felt I\u00a0fit, just some places where they were OK with my being slightly different. Still, I knew I\u2019d never be considered for the job if I didn\u2019t show up for the damn interview. Maybe they\u00a0wanted\u00a0different.<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I can only be induced to listen to country music under certain circumstances. One of those circumstances is \u2018long drives around the American Southeast<\/a>.\u2019 In the privacy of my own car \u2013 out in the middle of nowhere \u2013 it feels natural, and I don\u2019t worry about others\u2019 scorn.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Wagon Wheel\u2019 by Darius Rucker came on the air as I flipped through stations and States.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Heading down South to the land of the pines,<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thumbing my way into North Carolina.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d heard it on the radio before \u2013 though, I don\u2019t think I\u2019d searched for the song-info afterwards \u2013 but today, I really listened to the words.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, North country winters keep a-getting me down,<\/i>
Lost my money playing poker so I had to leave town,<\/i>
But I ain\u2019t turning back, to live in that old life no more.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t always easy to talk about my postdoc. I knew I had failed. I\u2019d come here straight off a\u00a0tough PhD<\/a>: in the lab at 5 pm on Sundays, balancing demanding group admin duties and refusing to splinter under the pressure of barely-successful research projects. I didn\u2019t recognise myself in the defeated, miserable postdoc.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Many postdocs feel trapped in their research groups. This can be because they feel under-qualified and unprepared for the \u201creal world\u201d job market, or because they don\u2019t know what they want to do next. This wasn\u2019t something I struggled with. I agreed to leave my postdoc early, knowing I would stare down unemployment, a demoralising job search, and heightened odds of leaving the county. The risks seemed worth it; I just had to amass the strength to push forward.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know who the company decided to hire instead of me.\u00a0Was\u00a0it a PhD scientist from the Research Triangle?\u00a0Were\u00a0they noticeably more extroverted? The interview wasn\u2019t a negative or awkward experience \u2013 I just wasn\u2019t wowing anybody or setting the room on fire with mutual chemistry. It wouldn\u2019t have been the best fit \u2013 a geographic compromise between the Deep South and the Eastern Seaboard which wouldn\u2019t have satisfied me on either front. Glassdoor reviews didn\u2019t think there was much room for professional advancement, even though they rated the company favourably. I had lunch in a really nice vegetarian\/Middle Eastern restaurant down the street, so I can\u2019t call the day a loss.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I got back to Atlanta around midnight, was snarled up in rush-hour traffic near Charlotte NC, had to pause at a South Carolina-Georgia Rest Area for an ~3-minute shuteye. Kept myself awake on the final stretch by counting down exit signs. I couldn\u2019t remember which FM station I\u2019d find WABE on, so I settled on late-night jazz until I could turn the engine off for good.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In a couple of months, I\u2019d receive a job offer from someone else. \u201cWe have to hire her<\/i>,\u201d my intermediary recruiter was told by a client looking for a very specific hire. This client set out their job specs right before my resume metaphorically landed on their collective desks. The unusual contours of my resume lined up perfectly to the job description. It ticked enough of my boxes for it to work out happily. But really, my realisation that here was an employer who\u00a0wanted\u00a0me was the most powerful facet of the whole experience.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And if I die in Raleigh, at least I will die free.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Dr. Claire Jarvis (@StAndrewsLynx<\/a><\/i>) is a Science and Medical Writer at Covance. This story was published on March 3, 2019, on Dr. Jarvis\u2019 blog, St Andrews Lynx\u2019s Blog<\/a> (available here<\/a>), and has been republished her with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In late October 2018, I drove from Atlanta to North Carolina for a job interview, setting my alarm for 5:30 am. According to Google Maps, the drive was 6 hrs. 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