{"id":2641,"date":"2019-05-20T10:50:27","date_gmt":"2019-05-20T10:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/there-is-no-recipe-for-perfect-research\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:35:16","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:35:16","slug":"there-is-no-recipe-for-perfect-research","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/there-is-no-recipe-for-perfect-research","title":{"rendered":"There is no recipe for perfect research"},"content":{"rendered":"

On New Year\u2019s Eve, I received a call from my supervisor. He told me that, during a storm, my pigeon shed had flooded. All of my power boards and electrical cables were under about 20 cm of water. Everything was covered in dirt and muck. The pigeons were fine, but everything else was a mess.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There was a pause.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And then we both cracked up laughing.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Why?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I was an undergrad, I learned the hard way that research doesn\u2019t always go as planned. For my first research project, I needed to make fish exercise, then see how much time they spent having sex (this is why I love zoology). To make a male fish exercise, I was supposed to get him to swim against a current. Fish like swimming against currents, I was told. Next, pop him in with a female, and see how often he tries to have sex with her. The males of this species (Gambusia holbrooki<\/i>) try to have sex every six seconds. So far, so good.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But, my fish refused to cooperate. To force a male to swim against a current, I had to supervise him closely, and block his path with sponges; even then, he would try to dodge my sponges and whizz around the bucket without any effort whatsoever.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Worse, my fish showed no interest in sex, regardless of whether they had been spinning around in a bucket. They just weren\u2019t in the mood. For the entire four months of my project.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So, for my Honours project, I decided to work with animal blood samples, rather than actual animals. I was told that analysing these samples would be \u201cstraightforward\u201d because \u201cwe\u2019ve done this heaps of times, it will only take a couple of weeks at most.\u201d The assay did not work. It took months to make it work. Even when it did work, I wasn\u2019t entirely convinced that it worked.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Our lab is extremely experienced with this method.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

These data loggers hardly ever fail.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Black swans don\u2019t actually bite.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Nobody has ever fallen in the lake.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Like any researcher, I have gradually learned that these phrases \u2013 no matter who says them \u2013 should never be trusted. Contrary to what we learnt at school, research is not a recipe. Research is trying to make a cake when all you have are peanuts, sugar, and ham, and the oven is on fire.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My supervisor once told me that science led him to believe in God. A cruel, sadistic God, who particularly hates my supervisor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Which brings me to my pigeons. The pigeons were meant to be a side-project \u2013 animals that I could work with while all my other work was failing to get anywhere.\u00a0Pigeons are easy to keep in a lab, easy to look after, easy to work with, we know where to get them, we\u2019ve worked with them before\u2026<\/i>\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Obviously, these statements should have been warning signs.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I began the \u201cpigeon project\u201d in May 2016. It was supposed to take 3 months. It took me about that long to get all the equipment together.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

First, I couldn\u2019t find suitable pigeons. Then, I had too many pigeons.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I put surveillance cameras on either side of each pigeon\u2019s perch. The pigeons perched on the cameras.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I put cable ties over the cameras and began my recording. The pigeons slept on the floor.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then, the data-loggers failed. Then, there was a heat wave. Pigeons unexpectedly laid eggs, unwrapped their data-loggers, and pulled their loggers off completely. Then, the air-conditioning broke.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Expectation: video record 8 pigeons for 3 nights while recording sleep with data loggers. Easy!
Reality:#phdlife<\/a> #ShouldHaveStudiedPlants<\/a> pic.twitter.com\/1ZEt9JbIFC<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 Anne Aulsebrook (@AnneAulsebrook) November 14, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And then, about 8 months after my 3-month project began, I got a call to say that the entire pigeon facility had flooded.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The day before New Year\u2019s Eve, I realised \u2013 in the way that you notice something that you don\u2019t expect to see \u2013 that the thought of quitting research after my PhD made me feel relieved. I think failure does take a toll after a while. I\u2019ve been doing my PhD for nearly two years now and haven\u2019t had a complete dataset to analyse. I\u2019ve never published my own research. I\u2019ve reached a point where I expect everything to fail before I\u2019ve even started. I know I\u2019m not the only one, but that doesn\u2019t make the idea of being a researcher forever any more inspiring.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So, when all my electrical cables were underwater, why did we laugh?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Because, in a bitter, sad, terrible way, it was pretty funny.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And because sometimes, you have to.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Anne Aulsebrook (<\/i>@AnneAulsebrook<\/i><\/a>) is a PhD Candidate (Zoology). This story was published on January 11, 2017, on Anne\u2019s blog, <\/i>My Research and Other Failures<\/i><\/a> (available <\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n