{"id":2647,"date":"2019-05-21T10:15:44","date_gmt":"2019-05-21T10:15:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/why-i-believe-a-phd-is-not-all-doom-and-gloom\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:35:14","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:35:14","slug":"why-i-believe-a-phd-is-not-all-doom-and-gloom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/why-i-believe-a-phd-is-not-all-doom-and-gloom","title":{"rendered":"Why I believe a PhD is not all doom and gloom"},"content":{"rendered":"

I follow Sh*t Academics Say<\/em>\u00a0on Facebook, and the inspiration for this post comes from a\u00a0post on their feed (similar to the image below).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

PhD students have such a range of experiences of, and feelings about, doing their PhDs. A basic sense\u00a0of human psychology tells us that repressing emotions and feelings, positive or negative, can lead to people feeling alone, odd, alienated, stuck, and depressed. As Meg Ryan said to Kevin Kline in French Kiss<\/i>: \u2018Express, not repress!\u2019 So, these PhD experiences and emotions need to be expressed, preferably to those who will listen and be able to offer support and even guidance or useful help. But, in giving voice to these feelings and experiences, it is worth thinking about what we do say to ourselves about our PhDs and how we represent them to ourselves and to others. If our words can speak things into being \u2013 feelings or experiences \u2013 then our words about our research can be powerful tools that either pull us down or lift us up.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A quick glance into the world of what people are telling Google search about their PhDs yields this result:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Default<\/p>\n

Other than the rather fun suggestion about a PhD in dance, the three options Google chooses to autocomplete this sentence with are negative: \u2018worthless,\u2019 \u2018boring,\u2019 \u2018killing me.\u2019\u00a0The\u00a0options Google selected are based (if I understand how this works accurately) on how many times people have typed these words into Google to search for resources or help.\u00a0Why are so many PhD experiences (if this snapshot is any kind of indication) so negative? Why is the PhD, more often than not, framed as a long, arduous, lonely trudge, as opposed to a challenging, stimulating, and ultimately empowering thing? Why is there not, in the more popular discourses around PhD study, more of an emphasis on what the PhD offers a scholar; the ups rather than the downs?\u00a0People have done research that answers some of these questions, and I\u2019d like to use this post to offer some of my thoughts on why this\u00a0might be.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I represented my own PhD in different ways at different points. Early on it was a millstone; a source of great anxiety and stress. Around the proposal stage, I felt quite excited as my plans took shape and I could see what lay ahead, even though I was still anxious about whether I could actually do what I was proposing. Writing the theory-ology was mostly tough, and I said lots of unrepeatable things about the theory, my PhD, and academia in general. I was mostly anxious, with small bits of delight in writing a section that looked and sounded really \u2018Dr-ish.\u2019 Generating data and transcribing it was mainly tedious, although the analysis and writing of the \u2018findings\u2019 chapters was actually enjoyable, because it brought all the theory to life. This is a small snapshot of my representation of my PhD. There was constant anxiety, really (I am an anxious person generally), but over and above this there was exhaustion, stress, and uncertainty on the \u2018minus\u2019 side, and delight, enjoyment, learning, and satisfaction on the \u2018plus\u2019 side.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A PhD can\u2019t be all plus or all minus \u2013 I don\u2019t think so. It takes too long to just be one or the other. Although some of my colleagues have loved their PhDs overall, they experienced tough, lonely, and frustrating patches. And those who have had a hard time overall have also had moments, even small, where they have felt enlightened, stimulated, and elated, even (think of that call to say the proposal was accepted, or being told a chapter draft is done for now because it\u2019s good enough and you can move on to the next one). But the minuses, and Inger Mewburn has made this point in her writing, are often easier to talk about with others than the plusses, perhaps because of the more general discourse around PhDs that highlight the struggles over the enjoyment.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In some ways, it felt to me at times that I needed to make my PhD more of an enemy than I generally felt it was, in order to be \u2018in\u2019 with colleagues who were struggling. I did not feel I could sit with them and say, \u2018Oh, I love my PhD. I am really enjoying it right now. The writing is going so well!\u2019 when they were saying versions of \u2018My supervisor is so distant. I have no support at work. I can\u2019t do this anymore.\u2019 I could complain about being tired, frustrated, confused, and discouraged at various points, and I certainly did. But I felt hesitance at representing my PhD in more positive terms in front of certain audiences, especially other students who were having a tough time. I am sure I was not alone in feeling this hesitance and, at times, even talking my PhD down rather than up so as not to alienate myself.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We all represent, and misrepresent, our PhDs in different ways and for different reasons: to fit in, to gain a sense of solidarity, to\u00a0find\u00a0empathy and care, to work through what we are feeling, and to try to move past especially negative feelings and experiences. The issue for me is this: if you feel like you spend more of your time talking your PhD (and by extension, yourself) down, you are almost certainly putting up obstacles to completing your research successfully, and you are probably increasing your anxiety and misery. I am not advocating that you start lying to yourself and others and saying your PhD is fabulous when it really is not. If you\u2019re struggling, and you need help, care, and support, you need to be able to ask for it. But, I think I am saying that (hopefully) it\u2019s not all doom and gloom all the time. There are reasons you took this on, and motivations you have, and these could\u00a0be framed more positively\u00a0to focus on your \u2018ups,\u2019 for example the learning and intellectual growth you experience, the connections with communities of scholars, either face-to-face or virtually, and the personal sense of achievement in taking on and succeeding at such a challenging undertaking.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you are battling to see the light, consider starting a research journal: write to yourself not just when you are down and your PhD is boring or killing you, but also when you are up: have had a good meeting with your supervisor, or a supportive coffee with fellow PhD students, or a productive writing day. Talking your PhD up more often, to yourself and others, may help to mitigate the downs, and may contribute to you feeling less burdened by the PhD, and more engaged by, and in it on the whole.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Dr. Sherran Clarence (<\/i>@PhDgirlSA<\/b><\/i><\/a>) is an Honorary Research Associate at\u00a0Rhodes University; and\u00a0Managing Editor of\u00a0Critical Studies in Teaching and Learning, and Theoria: A Journal of Social and Political Theory. This story was published on March 24, 2015,\u00a0on Dr. Clarence’s blog, ‘<\/i>How to write a PhD in a hundred steps (or more)<\/i><\/a>‘ (available\u00a0<\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I follow Sh*t Academics Say\u00a0on Facebook, and the inspiration for this post comes from a\u00a0post on their feed (similar to the image below). PhD students have such a range of experiences of, and feelings about, doing their PhDs. A basic sense\u00a0of human psychology tells us that repressing emotions and feelings, positive or negative, can lead […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":299,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2668,2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-motivational-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy I believe a PhD is not all doom and gloom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dr. Sherran Clarence is an Honorary Research Associate at\u00a0Rhodes University; and\u00a0Managing Editor of\u00a0Critical Studies in Teaching and Learning, and Theoria: A Journal of Social and Political Theory. 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