{"id":2662,"date":"2019-05-21T04:04:23","date_gmt":"2019-05-21T04:04:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/surviving-the-first-week-of-my-phd-program-with-imposter-syndrome\/"},"modified":"2025-04-05T12:40:47","modified_gmt":"2025-04-05T12:40:47","slug":"surviving-the-first-week-of-my-phd-program-with-imposter-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/surviving-the-first-week-of-my-phd-program-with-imposter-syndrome","title":{"rendered":"Surviving the first week of my PhD program with imposter syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cThere\u2019s gonna come a time in your first semester where you feel like you don\u2019t belong here. But remember that you\u2019re here for a reason, and you\u2019ll be fine.\u201d This was the advice my new lab-mate gave me when I begged her for her biggest piece of first-year advice. And I\u2019m so happy she told me this prior to classes starting.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A little bit of background on me: I\u2019m a female first-year doctoral student in a psychology PhD program. Like the other writer on this blog*, I\u2019d like to maintain anonymity for some obvious reasons and so I can differentiate myself from her, you can just refer to me as second author. She offered her blog as a way for me to get some of my feelings\/thoughts out there and I figured that: a) I\u2019m not the only first year doctoral student trying to figure things out and b) maybe potential doctoral students want the perspective of a newbie to inform them in real-time, what my feelings are like.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I just finished my first full week of being a grad student and, like a good millennial, I\u2019ll be giving you a glimpse of it in meme** form.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My time in grad school started a lot like undergrad in the sense that there were LOTS of orientations. However, that is exactly where the similarities end. I feel like I\u2019ve been tossed in the water with the instruction of, \u201cYour application looked the best at the propensity to learn how to swim! Good luck!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s important to note that everyone\u2019s advisor is different. Other students in my cohort have an advisor who\u00a0hasn\u2019t even met with them yet<\/i>. However, I\u2019ve been meeting with my advisor regularly for 3 weeks (starting prior to classes starting). It\u2019s also important to note that unlike most grad students, I\u2019m starting my grad career not by \u201cteaching-assisting\u201d (TAing) but as a research assistant (RAing).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been approximately 2 years since I\u2019ve done my own research projects, and all of a sudden the world is my oyster. Come up with a study! Here\u2019s some data, analyze it! Oh, by the way, here are your abstract deadlines for the next couple of months! And here\u2019s an undergrad student I want you to teach how to do analyses. And here\u2019s a 500-page book for you to read for next week! And this is not for my classes, this is just my personal research time.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

By Friday, when we had a meeting to go over the landscape of the next 5 years of classes and research, I felt completely overwhelmed and the little voice in my head got louder.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t belong here. You aren\u2019t this smart. You will flounder. You aren\u2019t as good as your application says. Your advisor probably thinks they made a mistake. You\u2019re already disappointing them.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thank god my wonderful lab-mate organized a happy-hour with all of the grad students in my department the Friday of my first week. They all have been so welcoming to me in my first week, and when I shared with them my overwhelmed-ness, they listened and then smiled, and all had the same thing to say: \u201cYou will be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Which takes me back to the opening quote my lab-mate told me, before I even started. She, and all of the other PhD students assured me that this is a completely normal feeling. That we all are so smart we begin to wonder about how we could possibly be in the same place as the person beside us. And the reality is only 1-2% of the U.S. population have PhDs, so we are few and far between.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of doubting myself and feeling defeated, I need to keep my chin up. I was chosen out of hundreds of applications for a\u00a0reason<\/i>. And it\u2019s because the faculty believed in me, and it\u2019s my job to prove them right.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The next 5 years are going to be hard, agonizing, and sleepless. I will most definitely cry in the bathroom and I will most definitely have nights I need to throw books across the room. I\u2019m not\u00a0expected\u00a0to know everything just yet \u2013 just expected to push myself to figure it out on my own. I\u2019m not used to the complete independence yet, but that\u2019s okay. So, I\u2019m going to silence that voice in my head and push myself. And in 5 years I\u2019ll be able to look back on this time and laugh, thinking about how I doubted myself. Because I will make it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*The author is referring to another anonymous author, PhDoing Life.
\n** Head over to the source blog to take a look at this meme.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

This story was published on September 3, 2018 on <\/i>PhDoing Life<\/i><\/a> (available<\/i> here<\/i><\/a>) and has been republished here with permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThere\u2019s gonna come a time in your first semester where you feel like you don\u2019t belong here. But remember that you\u2019re here for a reason, and you\u2019ll be fine.\u201d This was the advice my new lab-mate gave me when I begged her for her biggest piece of first-year advice. And I\u2019m so happy she told […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1470,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2672,2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-impostor-syndrome","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSurviving the first week of my PhD program with imposter syndrome<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You don\u2019t belong here. You aren\u2019t this smart. You will flounder. You aren\u2019t as good as your application says. Your advisor probably thinks they made a mistake. 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