{"id":2679,"date":"2019-05-21T04:50:59","date_gmt":"2019-05-21T04:50:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/its-just-sunk-in-that-im-the-new-kid\/"},"modified":"2025-04-05T05:54:03","modified_gmt":"2025-04-05T05:54:03","slug":"its-just-sunk-in-that-im-the-new-kid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/its-just-sunk-in-that-im-the-new-kid","title":{"rendered":"It’s just sunk in that I’m the new kid"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m nearly 2 months into my PhD at a different university in a different city. So you would think I\u2019d be getting settled right about now. At least I would think I should be at least starting to get settled. In actual fact, I\u2019m feeling more like a lemon than I did when I first started.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re new, people make the effort to say hi, introduce themselves, ask what your project is, and how your settling in, but after that\u2019s done it\u2019s just back to the routine. And that\u2019s where I\u2019ve realised I\u2019m not part of that routine. Everyone\u2019s really nice, so it\u2019s not like they\u2019re rude of unfriendly \u2014 it\u2019s just human nature.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d heard that PhD life can be lonely \u2014 it\u2019s only you working on your project and whilst you might be in an office with many people, you\u2019re not actually working with them. This in itself doesn\u2019t bother me so much, I\u2019m quite happy to work on my own. In some ways I even prefer it. It\u2019s the social side that I\u2019m struggling with\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

People are polite and friendly enough in the office, small talk is going great, but that\u2019s as far as it goes. I\u2019m not sure that I\u2019ve got much in common with the others in the office, but I haven\u2019t really had a chance to find out. I\u2019m not great at small talk and whilst I can talk for hours and hours to people once I know them, I\u2019m quite shy when I\u2019m new or nervous. I really do feel like I\u2019m trying, but starting out of sync with most others is actually difficult.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not something that\u2019s focussed on much when you read about PhD life before you apply. You\u2019re warned that your working life is going to be lonely, but I genuinely didn\u2019t realise that I would be lonely as a person. Stupid me, right? I\u2019m new, of course I\u2019m not going to fit in straight away and have loads of friends! I just haven\u2019t been the new kid for about 5 years\u2026 since the start of my undergrad, and even then I knew people because a group of us from college ended up in the same place.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The only insight I had into the loneliness of the personal side of PhD life was from my friend who started her PhD when I was doing my Master\u2019s. We happened to meet because she sat in on a couple of my lectures and we got talking. She had moved university to start her PhD, knew no one, and started in January; 3 months after the academic year started. So, pretty much the same situation I\u2019m in. I think she took about 8\u201312 months to feel settled, and to be honest, I think I\u2019m going to really struggle if it\u2019s going to take that long!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s pretty tough and I\u2019m just thankful that in London I\u2019ve got friends from home\/university who have ended up here as well, and I\u2019ve got my cousins as well. It means that I\u2019m not just going through a cycle of PhD and sleep. Hoping for it to get better with time, fingers crossed!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If there are any top tips out there to help with this, I would love to hear them. For now, on the day of Stephen Hawking\u2019s passing, on Pi Day 2018, this seems like some apt advice:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRemember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at.\u00a0It matters that you don\u2019t just give up.\u201d\u00a0– Stephen Hawking<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Shruti Turner (<\/i>@ShrutiTurner<\/i><\/a>) is a PhD Researcher at Imperial College London. This story was published on March 14, 2018, on Shruti\u2019s blog, <\/i>Shruti\u2019s PhD<\/i><\/a> (available <\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m nearly 2 months into my PhD at a different university in a different city. So you would think I\u2019d be getting settled right about now. At least I would think I should be at least starting to get settled. In actual fact, I\u2019m feeling more like a lemon than I did when I first […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1450,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt's just sunk in that I'm the new kid<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019m nearly two months into my PhD in a new university, in a new city. 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