{"id":2724,"date":"2019-05-28T10:24:32","date_gmt":"2019-05-28T10:24:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality\/"},"modified":"2025-02-15T08:30:29","modified_gmt":"2025-02-15T08:30:29","slug":"phd-life-perception-versus-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality","title":{"rendered":"PhD life: Perception versus reality"},"content":{"rendered":"

This past week, since my viva, has been pretty taxing on the brain. I feel like I\u2019ve been eating, breathing, and sleeping my PhD. I\u2019ve taken time to process the feedback and try and come up with a plan going forward.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My assessors gave me some very good advice when it came to how to think about my project and communicate it with enough academic rigour to meet the requirements of a PhD\u2014rather than being a Master\u2019s project or a piece of development work. I feel like I\u2019m rethinking my PhD for the millionth time\u2026 I don\u2019t even know if that\u2019s an exaggeration at this point. I\u2019ve spent far too much time wondering whether PhD life is for me, am I cut out for it, and am I good enough? I have to push away those thoughts that I\u2019m not good enough.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They\u2019d done one or two degrees and were pursuing something on their own, to discover new things. That meant they had to be super smart and know everything that had already been discovered about the area. They had all the answers.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As I went through my undergraduate degree and into my Master\u2019s, getting to know some PhD students socially, I realised that yes, they were super smart but they were muddling through just the same as the rest of us. Somehow though, they seemed to be able to find solutions to things they didn\u2019t know really quickly\u2026 they could still do everything.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one. I definitely didn\u2019t know everything and I wasn\u2019t sure if I\u2019d be able to work out the answers to questions undergraduates posed to me.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I started my PhD and got into it a bit, it seemed that everyone knew what they were doing\u2026 except me. Why was I there? Why had they picked me? Maybe I was the only one that applied and they were desperate? I don\u2019t know. The people who really seemed clued in and on a roll were those who were coming up to\/had done their 9-month assessments. So, maybe that\u2019s what I needed\u2026 just some more time. I\u2019d get through my 9-month assessment and then I\u2019d feel better. I\u2019d have a clear goal and be on track.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve now done my 9-month assessment and feel like I\u2019ve gotten backwards in my confidence. I thought I had a direction and knew what I was doing and then I did my viva and it was like my whole project came crashing down around me. It was not that bad. I just needed to refocus the lens of my PhD. It\u2019s not that I haven\u2019t learned anything, I have. I\u2019ve made good progress; I just need to frame it right.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Moral of the story: Imposter syndrome sucks. Everyone is on their own journey and bluntly, the time and money wouldn\u2019t be wasted on me if I wasn\u2019t good enough to be there. This was their chance to kick me out and they didn\u2019t. People might look on the outside like they are very well put together and confident, but under the surface and behind the scenes that\u2019s not the case.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Shruti Turner (<\/i>@ShrutiTurner<\/i><\/a>) is a PhD Researcher at Imperial College London. This story was published on October 12, 2018, on Shruti\u2019s blog, <\/i>Shruti\u2019s PhD<\/i><\/a> (available <\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This past week, since my viva, has been pretty taxing on the brain. I feel like I\u2019ve been eating, breathing, and sleeping my PhD. I\u2019ve taken time to process the feedback and try and come up with a plan going forward. My assessors gave me some very good advice when it came to how to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1450,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPhD life: Perception versus reality<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They had all the answers.\u00a0I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"PhD life: Perception versus reality\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They had all the answers.\u00a0I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Editage Insights\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Editage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-05-28T10:24:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-02-15T08:30:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/PhD-life-Perception-versus-reality-Resized.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"656\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"394\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shruti Turner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Editage\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Editage\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shruti Turner\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Shruti Turner\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/person\/402da0920f0a3ca80fd3ed9280049d86\"},\"headline\":\"PhD life: Perception versus reality\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-05-28T10:24:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-02-15T08:30:29+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality\"},\"wordCount\":630,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp\",\"keywords\":[\"PhD Life\",\"Researcher Stories\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Researchers and Their Stories\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/\",\"name\":\"PhD life: Perception versus reality\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-05-28T10:24:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-02-15T08:30:29+00:00\",\"description\":\"When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They had all the answers.\u00a0I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp\",\"width\":656,\"height\":336},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"PhD life: Perception versus reality\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/\",\"name\":\"Editage Insights\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Editage Insights\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/editage-insights-logo-1-scaled.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/editage-insights-logo-1-scaled.webp\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":324,\"caption\":\"Editage Insights\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Editage\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/Editage\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/person\/402da0920f0a3ca80fd3ed9280049d86\",\"name\":\"Shruti Turner\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2fd27dd6dc5c5aeafd113671069f8eddb47e5b9898021ff021e933146a424580?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2fd27dd6dc5c5aeafd113671069f8eddb47e5b9898021ff021e933146a424580?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Shruti Turner\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/shruti-turner\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"PhD life: Perception versus reality","description":"When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They had all the answers.\u00a0I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"PhD life: Perception versus reality","og_description":"When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They had all the answers.\u00a0I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one.","og_url":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/","og_site_name":"Editage Insights","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Editage","article_published_time":"2019-05-28T10:24:32+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-02-15T08:30:29+00:00","og_image":[{"width":656,"height":394,"url":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/PhD-life-Perception-versus-reality-Resized.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Shruti Turner","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Editage","twitter_site":"@Editage","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shruti Turner","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality"},"author":{"name":"Shruti Turner","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/person\/402da0920f0a3ca80fd3ed9280049d86"},"headline":"PhD life: Perception versus reality","datePublished":"2019-05-28T10:24:32+00:00","dateModified":"2025-02-15T08:30:29+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality"},"wordCount":630,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp","keywords":["PhD Life","Researcher Stories"],"articleSection":["Researchers and Their Stories"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-perception-versus-reality","url":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/","name":"PhD life: Perception versus reality","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp","datePublished":"2019-05-28T10:24:32+00:00","dateModified":"2025-02-15T08:30:29+00:00","description":"When I was an undergraduate student, I looked at the PhD demonstrators as people who had the answers to everything. They had all the answers.\u00a0I then applied for my own PhD and wondered whether PhD students actually had to be that smart because I\u2019d managed to get one.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/editage-insights-generic-banner_298.webp","width":656,"height":336},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/shrutisphd.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/12\/perception-vs-reality\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"PhD life: Perception versus reality"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/","name":"Editage Insights","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#organization","name":"Editage Insights","url":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/editage-insights-logo-1-scaled.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/editage-insights-logo-1-scaled.webp","width":2560,"height":324,"caption":"Editage Insights"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Editage","https:\/\/x.com\/Editage"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/person\/402da0920f0a3ca80fd3ed9280049d86","name":"Shruti Turner","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2fd27dd6dc5c5aeafd113671069f8eddb47e5b9898021ff021e933146a424580?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2fd27dd6dc5c5aeafd113671069f8eddb47e5b9898021ff021e933146a424580?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Shruti Turner"},"url":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/shruti-turner"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1450"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2724"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2724\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33313"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2724"},{"taxonomy":"new_categories","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/new_categories?post=2724"},{"taxonomy":"new_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/new_tags?post=2724"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=2724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}