{"id":2758,"date":"2019-05-30T08:38:10","date_gmt":"2019-05-30T08:38:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/post-fieldwork-struggles-taking-it-one-page-at-a-time\/"},"modified":"2025-04-05T07:21:23","modified_gmt":"2025-04-05T07:21:23","slug":"post-fieldwork-struggles-taking-it-one-page-at-a-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/post-fieldwork-struggles-taking-it-one-page-at-a-time","title":{"rendered":"Post-fieldwork struggles: Taking it one page at a time"},"content":{"rendered":"

The past few months have been, well, predictable and unexciting. Transitioning from fieldwork \u2014 and a nine-to-five job \u2014 was, and still is, draining. Somehow, I am back to being a student in a university, living in a small room in student housing, leading a student organization, attending seminars in lecture halls and classrooms, and giving talks of my own.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I miss speaking Arabic, my sunny Amman apartment, and so many people. I miss the exhaustion of navigating the field and the excitement of my work. I don\u2019t miss the stress or anxiety \u2014\u00a0was I obtaining enough data?<\/i>\u00a0\u2014 or the inevitable loneliness, but of course these are the aspects that have carried on into my post-fieldwork PhD life. I\u2019m less able to appreciate the breathtaking aura of Cambridge and my privilege to be a part of it. Being back sometimes feels like I\u2019ve moved in the wrong direction, or like I never left. Nothing has changed here, from the centuries-old buildings down to particular potholes in the streets.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m being honest. Post-fieldwork struggles are rarely discussed in the academe, and yet, from conversations with others who have returned from fieldwork, I realize it is common. I just want to say it out loud.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It took me a while to come to terms with leaving the field and to be able to blog about it.\u00a0What do I have to talk about when nothing in Cambridge feels new? How do I describe how I\u2019m feeling after fieldwork? How do I sum up my fieldwork in a few words when people ask me how it went?<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My radio silence on the blog has been in part because I did not know what to say. But, I have been writing in other ways, namely my dissertation. So far, I\u2019ve written drafts of the first three chapters, totaling 36,480 words to be exact. That\u2019s just a bit more than my entire Master\u2019s and Bachelor\u2019s theses combined.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Writing the dissertation has been my one comfort in this interesting transition. It is the one thing connecting me to the novelty of being on fieldwork, sparking memories of friends I made when I write about them with different names. I\u2019ll often stop mid-sentence to message whoever I am writing about, reassured that even though I may be referring to their story in the past tense, they are still just a message away. Writing has allowed me to make sense of what I witnessed in the field and my positionality within it. Writing for me is catharsis.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have also come to enjoy the length of a PhD thesis. The thought of writing 80,000 words on a focused topic was intimidating at first, and writing this dissertation continues to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I have found this length to be just right, allowing me to delve into points and come to realizations that smaller word counts would restrict. Writing a chapter per month, I encounter many slumps, but overall, I have come to relish the time and space I have to regularly write.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As I prepare to write the next chapter, I decided to pause and reflect on what I have done so far. I am about halfway through the writing process, with two chapters and an introduction and conclusion to go. I have yet to see clearly what exactly my thesis is arguing, and I cannot wait for this argument to emerge from the pages, and for everything to suddenly make sense.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There is much work ahead: editing, re-writing, reading, and analyzing. And I will try to share more along the way. In the meanwhile, I am taking one page at a time.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Melissa Gatter (<\/i>@melgatter<\/i><\/a>) is a PhD candidate at the University of Cambridge. This story was published on February 18, 2019, on Melissa\u2019s blog, <\/i>The World Behind the Curtain<\/i><\/a> (available <\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The past few months have been, well, predictable and unexciting. Transitioning from fieldwork \u2014 and a nine-to-five job \u2014 was, and still is, draining. 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