{"id":2849,"date":"2019-06-05T08:27:13","date_gmt":"2019-06-05T08:27:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/the-frustrations-that-come-with-writing-a-dissertation\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:33:12","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:33:12","slug":"the-frustrations-that-come-with-writing-a-dissertation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/the-frustrations-that-come-with-writing-a-dissertation","title":{"rendered":"The frustrations that come with writing a dissertation"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"A
A very candid look at first-year Steffi. Oh, how naive I was back then\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

When I started graduate school in the fall of 2012, the DGS (Director of Graduate Studies) explained to me and my fellow first-years that the key determinant of PhD success is not brain power but \u201cSitzfleisch,<\/i>\u201d i.e., the ability to sit. On your rear. For incredibly long periods of time.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026 and let\u2019s just say that at this point, 3.5 years later, I have gotten pretty sick of sitting\u2014and all the frustration that goes with it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

No, grad school isn\u2019t all bad<\/a>. There are definitely moments when I like, or even love, what I do. I enjoyed the rigorous discussions with my fellow students during seminars. Teaching my own class last spring was incredibly rewarding. And even my exams, hellish though they were, still rank among the greatest and most satisfying accomplishments of my life thus far.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But this whole archival research and dissertation-developing process? Well, sometimes it\u2019s just not my cup of tea\/coffee. You see, sometimes it just plain stinks. And, you guessed it, right now is one of those times.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

While lamenting my plight to EQL the other day, I likened this stage in the dissertation to a high-school relationship (not that I know from personal experience, but having seen enough Disney Channel Original Movies, I have a vague idea of what one looks like). I express an interest in a topic, I spend lots of energy, time, coffee money getting to know it, only to have it dump me in the end\u2014or play so \u201chard to get\u201d that I ultimately just give up.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Odd as that analogy may sound, it\u2019s the best description I can think of for my research situation right now. No matter how hard I try to get something to work out, I only find myself back at square one again, with seemingly nothing to show for it. And after five, six, or seven failed \u201crelationships,\u201d this can become very, very frustrating.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And to make things even worse, this is\u00a0my\u00a0<\/i>problem! You see, at this point in graduate school, I have already made the leap from being a \u201cconsumer\u201d to a \u201cproducer\u201d of knowledge. Or to use another metaphor, I have been pushed out of the nest and expected to fly. Yes, my advisor, committee members, and colleagues are still there for me. And yes, they will support me and help me as best as they can. But ultimately, this is\u00a0my\u00a0<\/i>project, which means that these are\u00a0my<\/i>\u00a0problems. No one can solve them for me, and there are no more answer keys to tell me which direction is correct. I have to figure this out on my own. Which, oftentimes, leaves me feeling a bit like this.*<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And so, at this point, halfway through my archival research, I am simply exhausted. And I am really, really tired of what I am doing. In one sense, I\u2019ve been here before multiple times. Each semester of coursework brought its own set of challenges, and exams were anything but fun. But unlike the end-of-semester \u201ccrunch mode\u201d or my 10-day exam period, there is no definite end in sight. Yes, at some point in the still-distant future, my funding will run out, I\u2019ll start getting \u201cmotivational\u201d emails from the graduate school, and it will no longer be socially or academically acceptable for me to be a PhD student. But that is still a long way off, and there are still many mountains to climb in the meantime. And the one I have been trying to climb for the last several months is so unstable and slippery that I just keep sliding back down again.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So besides ranting on the internet or\u00a0eating my feelings in Nutella<\/a>\u00a0(*cough* both of which I may currently be doing), how am I supposed to respond to this? Yes, it\u2019s all well and good to say that \u201cwhen the going gets tough, the tough get going,\u201d but that expression never says exactly\u00a0where<\/i>\u00a0they go. And right now, the only place I seem to be going is backward, and the only place I want to go is out of here. What am I supposed to do?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know. I really don\u2019t.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But as I\u2019ve been trying to figure this out the last several days (while also trying to drag my well-trained\u00a0Sitztfleisch<\/i>\u00a0to the archive), I keep coming back to my first marathon, last spring. After years of saying that I wanted to run one, I finally decided to commit to a race in Nashville.\u00a0I\u2019d run a few halves before<\/a>, but I\u2019d always shied away from the full because it required so much more time. Who has time to run 10-15 miles multiple times in a week? But last spring, I decided to make time, and so train, I did. It had its share of difficult moments, and some days, my body felt absolutely miserable. After my first long run of 9 miles, I was so tired that all I could do was curl up on EQL\u2019s couch and watch a movie. But as the training progressed, my body slowly got stronger, and by the end, I was cranking out double-digit mileage with virtually no trouble at all. Yes, some runs were gruelling (12 miles around an indoor track, and 20 miles around Stone Mountain in the pouring rain weren\u2019t exactly fun), but I got through them. And when the race day came, I managed to do what I\u2019d been doing all along: I just kept going.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s exactly what a marathon is: a deliberate choice to continue forward, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, mile after mile after mile. And the more that I think about it, the more convinced I become that a PhD is basically the academic (and very sedentary) version of a marathon. No, it\u2019s not fun. Some days are harder than others, and oftentimes, things just plain stink. But when you boil it down to the core, the key to success is to simply keep going.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And so, I guess that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do, putting one academic foot in front of the other. Thumbing through another file, visiting another archive, writing yet another mediocre draft of my half-formed thoughts. Someday, it has to come together, right? And someday, when I cross the finish line (or, in this case, the commencement stage), the process will have worked, I\u2019ll be done, and it will have all been worth it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Alright, that\u2019s enough sitting and thinking for one day. It\u2019s time to go for a run. Maybe I shouldn\u2019t have eaten so much Nutella\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Default<\/p>\n

*Editor’s note: Head over to Stefanie’s blog<\/a> to view this image.<\/p>\n

\n

Stefanie Woodard (<\/i>@steffikrull<\/i><\/a>) is a PhD Candidate and Dean’s Teaching Fellow at Emory University in Atlanta. This story was published on March 3, 2016, on Stefanie\u2019s blog,\u00a0<\/i>In Plain Sight<\/i><\/a>\u00a0(available\u00a0<\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been published here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A very candid look at first-year Steffi. Oh, how naive I was back then\u2026 When I started graduate school in the fall of 2012, the DGS (Director of Graduate Studies) explained to me and my fellow first-years that the key determinant of PhD success is not brain power but \u201cSitzfleisch,\u201d i.e., the ability to sit. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1496,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe frustrations that come with writing a dissertation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Stefanie Woodard is a PhD Candidate and Dean's Teaching Fellow at Emory University in Atlanta. 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