{"id":2887,"date":"2019-06-12T10:58:17","date_gmt":"2019-06-12T10:58:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-yesterday-was-one-of-those-days\/"},"modified":"2025-04-05T07:10:48","modified_gmt":"2025-04-05T07:10:48","slug":"phd-life-yesterday-was-one-of-those-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/phd-life-yesterday-was-one-of-those-days","title":{"rendered":"PhD life: Yesterday was one of those days"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"responsive\" title=\"Default Title Text\" src=\"http:\/\/insights.cactusglobal.com\/sites\/default\/files\/PhD%20life%20Yesterday%20was%20one%20of%20those%20days%20image%201_1.jpg\" alt=\"Default Alt text\" data-file_info=\"%7B%22fid%22:%228646%22,%22view_mode%22:%22default%22,%22fields%22:%7B%22format%22:%22default%22,%22field_file_image_alt_text%5Bund%5D%5B0%5D%5Bvalue%5D%22:%22Default%20Alt%20text%22,%22field_file_image_title_text%5Bund%5D%5B0%5D%5Bvalue%5D%22:%22Default%20Title%20Text%22,%22field_image_tags%5Bund%5D%5Btextfield%5D%22:%22%22,%22field_image_tags%5Bund%5D%5Bvalue_field%5D%22:%22%5C%22%5C%22%5C%22%5C%22%22%7D,%22type%22:%22media%22%7D\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;\"><em><strong>Good days include views like this\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"responsive\" title=\"Default Title Text\" src=\"http:\/\/insights.cactusglobal.com\/sites\/default\/files\/PhD%20life%20Yesterday%20was%20one%20of%20those%20days%20image%202.jpg\" alt=\"Default Alt text\" data-file_info=\"%7B%22fid%22:%228647%22,%22view_mode%22:%22default%22,%22fields%22:%7B%22format%22:%22default%22,%22field_file_image_alt_text%5Bund%5D%5B0%5D%5Bvalue%5D%22:%22Default%20Alt%20text%22,%22field_file_image_title_text%5Bund%5D%5B0%5D%5Bvalue%5D%22:%22Default%20Title%20Text%22,%22field_image_tags%5Bund%5D%5Btextfield%5D%22:%22%22,%22field_image_tags%5Bund%5D%5Bvalue_field%5D%22:%22%5C%22%5C%22%5C%22%5C%22%22%7D,%22type%22:%22media%22%7D\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;\"><em><strong>\u2026 watching the Berlin marathon\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"responsive\" title=\"Default Title Text\" src=\"http:\/\/insights.cactusglobal.com\/sites\/default\/files\/PhD%20life%20Yesterday%20was%20one%20of%20those%20days%20image%203.jpg\" alt=\"Default Alt text\" data-file_info=\"%7B%22fid%22:%228648%22,%22view_mode%22:%22default%22,%22fields%22:%7B%22format%22:%22default%22,%22field_file_image_alt_text%5Bund%5D%5B0%5D%5Bvalue%5D%22:%22Default%20Alt%20text%22,%22field_file_image_title_text%5Bund%5D%5B0%5D%5Bvalue%5D%22:%22Default%20Title%20Text%22,%22field_image_tags%5Bund%5D%5Btextfield%5D%22:%22%22,%22field_image_tags%5Bund%5D%5Bvalue_field%5D%22:%22%5C%22%5C%22%5C%22%5C%22%22%7D,%22type%22:%22media%22%7D\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;\"><em><strong>\u2026 and, of course, Ritter Sport chocolate.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">Some days are great. The\u00a0sun shines brightly, I have an extra spring in my step, and the world is my figurative oyster.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">Since coming to Berlin 2.5 weeks ago, I\u2019ve been fortunate to have many of these days. I found a church immediately, joined a small group, and met many really awesome people through that. Only a week after arriving, I managed to buy a bike well within my budget, so now I can get around the (massive) city with relative ease. I even managed to register with the\u00a0<i>B\u00fcrgeramt<\/i>\u00a0(bureaucratic office) after only 2 days of trying, which I\u2019ve heard is next to impossible. To top it all off, I have a wonderful roommate, Nutella in my cupboard, and\u00a0<a style=\"color: blue; text-decoration: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/steffimarie.wordpress.com\/2014\/05\/27\/curing-the-worry-wart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">cornflakes every morning<\/a>. Yes, many days are great.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">But on the other hand, some days aren\u2019t all that awesome. You might think that, because I\u2019m \u201cliving the dream\u201d and doing my dissertation research in Berlin that everything would be hunky-dory. I usually think like this. And when I catch myself not being happy enough, I start saying (sometimes aloud) stuff like, \u201cGet it together, Steffi!\u201d and \u201cBe happy, Steffi!\u201d \u2026 which can be dangerous because\u00a0<a style=\"color: blue; text-decoration: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/steffimarie.wordpress.com\/2012\/02\/03\/whats-in-a-name\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">there are a lot of German girls named Steffi<\/a>. Haha! I\u00a0<i>want<\/i>\u00a0to be happy. I\u00a0<i>want\u00a0<\/i>to be content. I\u00a0<i>want<\/i>\u00a0to experience joy. But if I\u2019m completely honest, that\u2019s sometimes just not the case.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">Yesterday was one of those days. I was minding my own archival business, when I stumbled upon a 20-year-old dissertation that bore an eerie resemblance to mine. And to make things worse, this discovery came just a week after I had a major breakthrough with my own project. After\u00a0months\u00a0and years of trying to nail it down, I\u2019d finally managed to nail down what I am doing and why it matters. And just as my happiness balloon had started to get off the ground, the \u201creality Grinch\u201d snuck up behind me and popped it, leaving me feeling sad and deflated once again. All I wanted to do was crawl back under the covers and cry. But I knew that wouldn\u2019t solve anything.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">Grad school can be like that\u2014a stupid, frustrating, manic emotional roller-coaster with no\u00a0apparent\u00a0way off. You can spend countless hours trying to carve out your own minuscule niche in the vast universe of knowledge, only to find out that the spot was taken decades ago. Uggggghhhhh!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">Yes, I know that I\u2019m ranting. Yes, I realize that this isn\u2019t the end of the world. And yes, I even get that my dissertation\u2019s\u00a0<i>Doppelg\u00e4nger<\/i>\u00a0can\u2019t be exactly like mine simply because I am a different person, using different sources, and writing at a different time. I understand all of this and can accept it on a rational level. But sometimes, like right now, I just don\u2019t feel like being rational. Right now, I just need to be able to rant.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">In moments like these, I don\u2019t really feel like reading the Bible. And yet, if I stop and think about it, I\u2019m profoundly grateful for the examples it provides, especially in the Psalms. In a remarkably short span of verses, the psalmists\u00a0often experience and express a whole range of\u00a0human emotion: anger, frustration, discouragement, guilt, sadness, etc. This encourages me, not only because I identify with many of these\u00a0feelings,\u00a0but also because they remind me that God has room for my complaints. I don\u2019t have to have\u00a0everything together to approach Him; I don\u2019t need to wear a happy face to enter His presence.\u00a0Instead, He lets me meet Him exactly as I am\u2014irrational rant and all.\u00a0And I find this to be strangely comforting, like the spiritual equivalent of someone saying,\u00a0\u201cThat stinks, and I\u2019m sorry,\u201d instead of trying to fix it. Sometimes there is no solution, or if there is, I\u2019m not ready to accept it yet, because sometimes I just need the room to rant and blog and cry.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">Yesterday was crappy. In many ways, the sun did \u201ccome out tomorrow\u201d (by that I mean, today), and I have a much better perspective on my situation. I know that everything will be alright and, at some point, this bad day will just be a distant memory (albeit one immortalized in a blog post). And looking back on yesterday, I am\u00a0thankful for\u00a0family, friends, and a Saviour who loves me enough to let me be upset. And I\u2019m grateful for the Psalms and for their tangible reminder that feelings, even negative ones, are okay.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"line-height: 115%;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;\">That said, I could still use some comfort food. Where did I put that Nutella?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><i>Stefanie Woodard (<\/i><a style=\"color: blue; text-decoration: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/steffikrull\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i>@steffikrull<\/i><\/a><i>) is a PhD Candidate and Dean&#8217;s Teaching Fellow at Emory University in Atlanta. This story was published on October 1, 2015, on Stefanie\u2019s blog,\u00a0<\/i><a style=\"color: blue; text-decoration: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/steffimarie.wordpress.com\/\"><i>In Plain Sight<\/i><\/a><i>\u00a0(available\u00a0<\/i><a style=\"color: blue; text-decoration: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/steffimarie.wordpress.com\/2015\/10\/01\/bad-day\/\"><i>here<\/i><\/a><i>), and has been published here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Good days include views like this\u2026 \u2026 watching the Berlin marathon\u2026 \u2026 and, of course, Ritter Sport chocolate.\u00a0 Some days are great. The\u00a0sun shines brightly, I have an extra spring in my step, and the world is my figurative oyster. Since coming to Berlin 2.5 weeks ago, I\u2019ve been fortunate to have many of these [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1496,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>PhD life: Yesterday was one of those days<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Some days are great. The\u00a0sun shines brightly, I have an extra spring in my step, and the world is my figurative oyster. 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