{"id":2917,"date":"2019-06-14T11:19:57","date_gmt":"2019-06-14T11:19:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/im-still-here-but-the-end-is-officially-in-sight\/"},"modified":"2025-04-04T13:47:22","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T13:47:22","slug":"im-still-here-but-the-end-is-officially-in-sight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/im-still-here-but-the-end-is-officially-in-sight","title":{"rendered":"I’m still here, but the end is officially in sight"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello world.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, I am still here. As in, still alive, still able to write, and still capable of posting on this blog.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And I\u2019m also still\u00a0here<\/i>. As in, still a PhD student, still writing, and still attempting to finish this darn degree.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been six months since I last published anything on this site, and remarkably little has changed during that time. My life seems to consist of a blurry mix of job applications, dissertation revisions, and lots and lots of emails. This semester, I\u2019ve added teaching to the rotation of \u201cstuff Steffi does,\u201d and that has been a nice change. But for the most part, my days feel like a giant grad-student helping of \u201csame old, same old.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In the midst of the monotony, there has been one major development: I am now on the cusp of graduating. The end is officially in sight. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it\u2019s not a train. Yay!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m realizing, though, that while this is incredibly exciting, and oh my gosh, I can\u2019t wait to be done with this silly PhD, this season of waiting, of \u201cstill being here\u201d isn\u2019t over yet\u2013and it may not be for some time. The job market in history is abysmal at best, and although I\u2019ve been fortunate to have a couple interviews, I haven\u2019t gotten any offers. Something may come up in the next week or months, but there are definitely no guarantees and I\u2019m not getting my hopes up. I can\u2019t definitively say what will happen next or what actually lies beyond this degree. All I know for sure is that, on May 12th, I\u2019ll walk across a stage, be handed a fancy piece of paper, and get to wear a blue velvet, Harry Potter-esque hood.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I guess then it makes sense that I\u2019ve been thinking a lot these days about waiting. The in-between spaces and the times of uncertainty are not fun, especially for those of us who like to plan, who like to\u00a0know,\u00a0<\/i>and who like to have things figured out. I want answers, direction, and guidance, and\u00a0I want it\u00a0right now<\/i>.\u00a0But that isn\u2019t happening. I still don\u2019t know with any degree of clarity what is coming next, and that likely won\u2019t change anytime soon. So I\u2019m left with this question. How can I occupy this liminal place, and occupy it well?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Last night, as I was feeling frustrated yet again with all the waiting, I found a brief moment of clarity: there is something fundamentally sacred about seasons of waiting, because it\u2019s in these places of uncertainty that God is waiting to meet with us. When everything around us seems blurry and confounding, He desires to make Himself most clear. It\u2019s in these spaces that we can experience Him most fully. Yet the extent to which we encounter him here depends on us. Will we lean into the ambiguity, even when everything inside us just wants to rush through it?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019ve met my quota of non-academic thoughts for today. Now it\u2019s back to the dissertation. If you need me, I\u2019ll be at my desk,\u00a0still\u00a0<\/i>here.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Stefanie Woodard (<\/i>@steffikrull<\/i><\/a>) is a PhD Candidate and Dean’s Teaching Fellow at Emory University in Atlanta. This story was published on February 12, 2019, on Stefanie\u2019s blog,\u00a0<\/i>In Plain Sight<\/i><\/a> (available<\/i>\u00a0here<\/i><\/a>), and has been published here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello world. Yes, I am still here. As in, still alive, still able to write, and still capable of posting on this blog. And I\u2019m also still\u00a0here. As in, still a PhD student, still writing, and still attempting to finish this darn degree. It\u2019s been six months since I last published anything on this site, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1496,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI\u2019m still here, but the end is officially in sight<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hello world.\u00a0I am still here. 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