{"id":2936,"date":"2019-06-13T11:37:33","date_gmt":"2019-06-13T11:37:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/when-grad-life-feels-like-a-ceaseless-treadmill\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T06:33:06","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T06:33:06","slug":"when-grad-life-feels-like-a-ceaseless-treadmill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/when-grad-life-feels-like-a-ceaseless-treadmill","title":{"rendered":"When grad life feels like a ceaseless treadmill"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m writing today from a place of exhaustion, of defeat, of anxiety, and of stress over what\u2019s to come.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This semester has been rough. I\u2019ve had some mental health issues acting up since I moved that I\u2019m still trying to return to baseline, some physical health issues that arose, and the school work just does not stop.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m still passing all of my classes (praise God for the strength and ability to do so\u2013that\u2019s all Him folks, because I alone am running on complete emptiness) and I\u2019m not behind on any of my projects.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This semester has, thankfully, been one where the workload is stacked at the end, so I\u2019ve been able to have a period of just showing up and that is enough for now.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But today is the end of spring break. We lost an hour, I have to go back to school tomorrow, and now all of the stuff is going to be due soon.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Truth be told I haven\u2019t had a real break in a long while. Between ending my last program and going home and hosting visitors, I\u2019ve been swamped even on my little time without school. I\u2019m ready for summer break, but that won\u2019t happen until June.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I am at a place right now where I\u2019m finally feeling the weight of what I\u2019ve been doing. I\u2019m finally feeling the\u00a0\u201cmaybe I should just quit\u00a0<\/i>and\u00a0maybe I can\u2019t do this after all\u201d\u00a0<\/i>thoughts creep into my mind. It\u2019s the self-doubt that I was warned about by past mentors, and the self-doubt I was able to mostly avoid in my last program as I was not so burnt out yet. But it\u2019s here now, and I\u2019m trying to find a way to cope.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I truly believe that I am capable of this. I have a lot of support and knowledge and am making progress. I\u2019m not perfect, but I\u2019m not expected to be. The hoops that school is making me jump through feel endless, but I know in reality they\u2019re not. I feel like I\u2019m stuck on a treadmill and going nowhere, but I am moving forward. It\u2019s slow, and gruelling, and painful, and hard. And if I\u2019m being honest, it\u2019s one of the few true, genuinely difficult, pivotal challenges that I have faced in my life.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The question remains: Who do I want to be on this journey? Who do I want to become? I have faith that God will carry me forward in this journey and give me the strength to do so. How I approach the path set before me is entirely my choice.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it. \u20131 Thessalonians 5:24<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was at a place right now in my life, from where I cannot offer much encouragement or wisdom or help. I am struggling. But God is good, and I have hope for the future and trust that He will bring to completion the journey He has called my life to.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I ask that you all pray for me during this time of struggle; know that I will be praying for all the other graduate students out there no matter the place they are at themselves.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Elizabeth Mulherron (<\/i>@gradu8student<\/i><\/a>) is a second year doctoral student pursing her Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology. <\/i>This story was published on March 10, 2019, on Elizabeth\u2019s blog, <\/i>The Young Grad Student<\/i><\/a> (available <\/i>here<\/i><\/a>) and has been republished here with her permission.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m writing today from a place of exhaustion, of defeat, of anxiety, and of stress over what\u2019s to come. This semester has been rough. I\u2019ve had some mental health issues acting up since I moved that I\u2019m still trying to return to baseline, some physical health issues that arose, and the school work just does […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1504,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2666,2454],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-phd-life","tag-researcher-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhen grad life feels like a ceaseless treadmill<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019m writing today from a place of exhaustion, defeat, anxiety, and of stress over what\u2019s to come. This semester has been rough. 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