{"id":2938,"date":"2019-06-13T11:28:59","date_gmt":"2019-06-13T11:28:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/i-was-struggling-to-complete-my-thesis-but-the-universe-had-other-plans\/"},"modified":"2025-04-04T13:38:15","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T13:38:15","slug":"i-was-struggling-to-complete-my-thesis-but-the-universe-had-other-plans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.editage.com\/insights\/i-was-struggling-to-complete-my-thesis-but-the-universe-had-other-plans","title":{"rendered":"I was struggling to complete my thesis, but the universe had other plans"},"content":{"rendered":"

This past summer was supposed to be my \u201cpush to the finish line\u201d and \u201cbring \u2018er home\u201d summer. I was originally supposed to submit my thesis on (this past) Friday, September 29 \u2013 but things got a little complicated, and I asked for (and was granted) an extension. Sometimes, I need to be hit over the head with a sign or two to really understand that just because I had planned something to go a certain way and I WANTED something to go a certain way, it might not necessarily work out like that.\u00a0My summer went something like this:<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

May – Finish teaching gigs and gear up to get this PhD puppy DONE.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Last week of May, out of the blue, and within the space of a week,\u00a0 the ol\u2019 man (that would be my husband) discovers something is not feeling quite right, goes to the doctor, is rushed through a myriad of tests, is diagnosed with testicular cancer, has surgery to remove the cancer and returns to work 3 days later (even though the doctor had recommended\u00a03 weeks off).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One week later, I get a call that my elderly father is very ill, has been admitted to a hospital, has a \u201cdo not resuscitate\u201d order on his chart, and that I should get there pronto. I hastily book a flight and traverse the country to be with him. He improves but I spend a good part\u00a0of 2 weeks in the hospital advocating for him.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

During the first week I am there, I receive a call from my brother\u2019s social worker (he is schizophrenic\u00a0and has long been under the care of a mental health team while living independently\u00a0in a specially designated building for those with mental health challenges). My brother, I am told, has early-onset dementia. He cannot live independently\u00a0and will be moved into a group home.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother has advanced dementia and has lived in a full-time care facility for four years. My grandmother had it, as did her sister, my great aunt.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

During the second week, I am \u201chome\u201d to care for my Dad and I get a call from another hospital saying my oldest (61-year-old) brother is there. I had had lunch with him earlier in the week; he seemed fine. I couldn\u2019t\u00a0imagine what could be wrong.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I arrived at the hospital and was escorted into the ICU to find out he had overdosed on heroin. He was (I thought) a recovering addict. He had been (I thought) clean for 12-15 years.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He stayed in the hospital 2 weeks with sepsis (a blood infection from the intravenous drug use). My Dad got stronger, I got him settled back home, arranged home care, sold his car\u2026 my other brother\u00a0was placed in a group home. I visited my Mum one last time before I flew back to my other \u201chome.\u201d Mum has no idea who I am, but she seemed happy for the company. I didn\u2019t tell her about Dad and my brothers. She can\u2019t comprehend anything like that anyway\u2013 I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t have to tell her all that.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Back home, with my ol\u2019 man\u00a0and the kids (he reminded me, or rather ribbed me about the fact that he had cancer as I was off looking after my father, mother and brothers\u2026). We spent a lovely 4 days on a lake because that is all we could afford financially and time-wise. The day after we got home, I was grocery shopping and planning out the rest of my \u201csummer.\u201d Kids were occupied with camp and activities and I was clear to write the bejeebers out of my thesis. The grocery cart was full when I realized I needed frozen mango for my ultra-healthy brain boosting green smoothies\u2013 I left the cart with the ol\u2019 man and turned to go back to the freezer section when BAM! I go flying\u2026 I feel (although it was so intense I swear I heard it too) a POP in my left leg, and the next thing I remember, I was lying, screaming in a pool of cold water from a leaky freezer. An ambulance was called. I was carted off, put on morphine and told that I had torn a hamstring.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That is when I realised that sometimes a little re-jigging is for the best. That is when I had to accept that the universe was essentially begging me to just STOP. Wait a gall-darn minute\u2013 Re-jig\u2013 you are NOT submitting on September 29, 2017.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

March 29, 2018, it is then.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Home again, home again jiggity-jig\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Mamalegato is a mother to six, PhD student, and theatre artist. This story was published on October 1, 2017, on her blog, <\/i>Mamalegato’s Marathon<\/i><\/a> (available <\/i>here<\/i><\/a>), and has been republished here with her permission. <\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This past summer was supposed to be my \u201cpush to the finish line\u201d and \u201cbring \u2018er home\u201d summer. I was originally supposed to submit my thesis on (this past) Friday, September 29 \u2013 but things got a little complicated, and I asked for (and was granted) an extension. Sometimes, I need to be hit over […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":955,"featured_media":33313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2414],"tags":[2676,2454,2669],"new_categories":[],"new_tags":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiring-researcher-stories","tag-parenting-in-academia","tag-researcher-stories","tag-stories-of-struggle"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI was struggling to complete my thesis, but the universe had other plans<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This past summer was supposed to be my \u201cpush to the finish line\u201d and \u201cbring \u2018er home\u201d summer. I was originally supposed to submit my thesis on Friday, September 29 \u2013 but things got a little complicated and I needed an extension. 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