Does being an academic mom make me a bit of a black sheep at work?

Hi friends,

There is a lot of negativity that surrounds us on a daily basis. People who try to put us down, to mold us into people who follow their needs, not our own. It’s a bit like walking on a rope and any step other than on the rope could have severe consequences.

Photo taken by and property of babybluerascal.

At some point in our lives, a breaking point, we stop asking ourselves what exactly do we want and start looking around and asking what would make fewer ripples, what we need to do to please everybody.

But, think about it. When you are born, you know exactly what you want and you get it. You need to be fed, changed, or go to sleep - you let your parents know and you get it. However, when you become older, people start telling you – Don’t do that, you are not good at that so don’t even try, you are lazy, etc.

If we are not careful, we stop following our dreams. 

I only just recently realized that I was trying too hard to please everyone, was working to get results so that the boss is happy, was doing anything that was asked so that people in my workplace would like me. Because I kept trying to please everyone, in the end, I ended up tired with no clear goal in my head. The only place that I could be myself was at home with my kids and hubby.

However, all of this changed since I started this blog and started listening to motivational audio books on the way to work. I realized that however much you do for people, they will take it for granted and ask for more. They don’t care about me; they’re instead focusing on their own lives.

I am a bit of a black sheep in the workplace, as I am the only one with small kids and cannot go out and have drinks and go to nightclubs. Because of this, people do not understand me and don’t really want to talk to me. But that is okay, as science is one job where you can get lost in your experiments for hours and not have to talk to anyone.

Since starting this blog, I stopped caring what other people thought of me or said about me, and today was a turning point, where I realized just how much I’ve improved in my reactions to what others think about me.

Today, I found out about something that happened before I went on maternity leave – something was said about me that I will not repeat here and was overheard. Well, today for the first time in my life, instead of being upset about it I said: “Well, it is her opinion, but I am here to work and to progress, in order to reach my goals.” The thing that was said, was said in front of 4 of my colleagues, but it just demonstrated how immature and unprofessional that person is.

Don’t get me wrong, I like all of my colleagues, can see their youth and ambition, and can admire it, but what they do not realize though, is that I might not mold to their standards, but I am following my path. Because of my past experiences, I have much more diverse knowledge than they do. This does not make me better, just more experienced, and perhaps someday they will look and ask themselves ‘why did I not talk to her?’

For now, I am content looking forward to my future, focusing on what I want to achieve, and enjoying my life as a mummy to two gorgeous boys.

Hope you all had a lovely day.

This story was published on February 6, 2018, on Babybluerascals (available here), and has been republished here with permission.