I am a (very tired) rescue-supervisor

This post expresses my frustration; as right now, I feel pretty tired. A significant area of concern is my research students.

Let’s start with where I am an associate supervisor – and I did not freely choose to supervise. In my role as a higher degree research coordinator at my university, I tend to see many challenging supervision situations and often end up helping – by “picking up the stray students” who now need a new supervisor late in their degree for a variety of reasons (staff retirement, relocation, and – too often – supervisor/student conflicts).

Currently, I am an associate for three students, where they (and their tired primary supervisors) need significant help. This is not an ideal situation – for anyone. So when at the meeting yesterday, the primary supervisor looked exhausted and said she would do her best to edit the chapter before our next meeting in 2 weeks (clearly, it was going to be impossible as it had been in our emails – unanswered, unedited – for a month now), I stepped in and said: what’s your workload like, can you truly get to it, would you like me to look at it first? I know why I did that – #circleofniceness – but really, it was a stupid example of #overloadme.

I tried to stop myself. As soon I said, yes, I will take the lead on editing that within the next 2 weeks, I wanted to retract it. But it was very clear that the primary supervisor was not getting to this document, and the student desperately needed some direction from written track changes, not just great conversations at meetings. But, as I was so busy, I told the stressed international student to email me at lunchtime next Friday with a reminder to work on her chapter – a violation of many sociocultural norms, I am sure, but she is going to have to be slightly assertive to prioritize getting her feedback right now – #badme. And then, there are associate supervision students #2 and #3; I can’t even bring myself to write about them and their situations, they are such a mess. 

And then, of course, there are students for whom I am the primary supervisor. I really do care for them, but I can’t do everything for them and some (not many) are quite needy, and I feel like saying (and will soon say) - figure this out yourself, grow some academic confidence, ask someone else, stop turning to me for minor things. 

This post, I think in many ways, is simply a vent. And, I hope, a warning to others – sometimes, we step in to try and help, especially if we have a formal role as a higher degree research coordinator. We sometimes inherit a messy situation or one we would not choose. To try and preserve my sanity and some type of work-life balance, I think I am going to have to get tougher about saying no earlier… and about not picking up/helping those stray, needy “rescue students” regardless of how much I feel for them and their situation. An early no, I think, is better than letting everyone (including myself) down by being that unreliable, non-delivering supervisor – simply because their field is outside my area of expertise and interest, and I already have a large number of students I chose to supervise from the start of their degree. 

So, right now, the supervision is going tough… and I could do with some wise words from fellow supervisors about how to change expectations and better implement boundaries, not only with students but also co-supervisors…  Advise, please. #helpme. 

P.S. I am trying very hard to remember motivational quotes like: “without darkness, stars can’t shine” and “iron is forged in the fire” (or something along those lines). This better be true). 

This story was published on September 11, 2018, on the blog, The Supervision Whisperers (available here), and has been republished here with permission.