My predictions for my first teaching experience

From my very earliest memories, I have been surrounded by good teachers. Women who patiently sat and taught me to read, write, and think – to question my surroundings, to analyse texts, and to break outside the box to become something more than the standard.

They’re some pretty big shoes to fill.

When my professor says that he wants me to become a ‘pre-packaged academic’ by the time I graduate, he often hesitates when I bring up my desire to teach. “Teaching classes is part of academics, right?” I asked in our first meeting, pen in hand, “I need experience in tutoring some units.”

He gently explained that he avoids teaching if he can help it, because researching is the skill he likes to foster. “If I focus on my research,” he responded, “I’ll get more research to do, and I’ll be happy. I prefer research.”

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy research too, but I feel like something is missing in my life if I’m not communicating and interacting with others. Whether it’s education or a single “what are you up to?” conversation, I love talking to people… for a few hours a day, anyway. I recharge in the quiet of my home, but the day doesn’t feel complete unless I’ve chatted with someone.

So when it comes to teaching (like with everything I do), I want to be good. No, I want to be great. I want to inspire the same motivation in my students that I received from the teachers before me. I want to explain something such that it lights the bulb inside someone’s head, so they can finally understand a concept. I want to be the one who helps someone improve their writing, or their presentation style. I want to teach… something.

Problem is I haven’t got a lot of experience in teaching.

I’ve presented radio shows, I’ve sat next to kids and tutored them with their homework, I’ve been a test audience for presentations and given feedback on training courses, but I’m yet to stand in front of a class and be responsible for the communication of an entire unit’s worth of information. Nobody has approached me to clarify assignment requirements, and I’m not in charge of listing what pages to read to pass an exam.

I’ve run study sessions, but they’re not quite the same. Rarely in my life have I been the authority on something. Rarely have I been given the opportunity to be the authority on something. I can attest that I do know a thing or two about management and organisational behaviour, let alone strategic HR, hospital management, and various other niche topics I’ve been studying the past two years. I could comfortably give teaching first-year business undergraduates a shot…but will I be any good?

I can predict that my first class will be over-prepared and awkward. I’ll want to prepare a speech, rely heavily on my slides, and get flustered when something unexpected happens. I’ll go bright red and my students will wonder who put me in charge, and they’ll move on.

My second class may go a little better. I’ll give up trying to become my Professor and just approach life my own way. I’ll wear something a little more casual, throw in a few unforced puns, and be a bit more engaging to listen to. My students will think I’ve finally had my coffee and move along.

As with most experiences, the third time will be the charm. My supervisor may come in to check how I’m doing and see a class that is (mostly) paying attention. I’ll be wearing whatever I decided to wear that day, handing out stickers and asking questions as we go along. I will be script-less, worry-less and entertaining. I’ll use the time allocated well, not miss a beat when interrupted with a question or a comment, and stay on topic.

After the third class, I’ll be in the groove and my students will begin to see me for who I am – a researcher with a passion for her topic – an accessible source of information and clarification, and someone who doesn’t mind being stopped in the library for an impromptu question. I want to engage with the students and give them the best education I can, but for now I’m limited by inexperience.

By the time this post is published I will have had two weeks to prepare for my first class and have taught the first one. I’ll be in the awkward embarrassment stage of trying to follow my Professor’s example word-for-word, and it’s not going to work. I’m going to hit my head against the wall, and then I’m going to see this post. I’ll read the words I’ve written a little while ago and be reassured that no matter how embarrassing my last class was, my students will move on. They’ll move on, and come back, and I’ll get another go next week.

And, week by week, I’ll become a teacher.

Madeleine Kendrick (@MIKendrick94) is a PhD candidate (Scholarship Recipient, Full-time), an Academic Research Assistant, and a Business Consultant. This story was published on March 2, 2018, on Madeleine’s blog, Research & Beyond (available here), and has been republished here with her permission.