The ins and outs of a grad student's desk

Common name: Rellie Goddard

Taxonomy: Subterra troglodytes (DPhil Structural Geology)

Rellie Goddard is an underground creature, most often found listening to 90’s music in the basement, while trying to make her rocks shiny. Like most creatures attracted to shiny things, the Rellie is also a scavenger. No food is safe around this post-grad, though any sacrificed food at least brings out a slightly placated Rellie. A self-proclaimed ‘background person,’ the Rellie is particularly elusive even amongst DPhils. In fact, it is rightfully believed that she has spent months on end trying to persuade people to pay for her to go to the Canadian Northwest Territories, where she can revel in the solitude of having only bears for company. In addition, it is thought that to heighten this elusiveness, she employs multiple identities and passports. Nevertheless, although this post-grad is not an emotionally intelligent creature, she is known to show affection through the sharing of sweet foods. However, take fair warning, this post-grad is particularly dangerous when lacking in tea or coffee. Approach with caution or, better still, avoid at all cost.

1. Unclaimed tat which we’re too lazy to deal with.
2. Leftover treasure (also known as coffee), scavenged from the finalist in our office once they’d submitted.
3. Prayer flags, because 40% of our office has been to Nepal and we’ve all ‘found ourselves.’
4. Two screens = double the productivity, no?
5. Copies of things I’ve submitted — to reassure myself I’ve actually done work this year.
6. Poster graveyard.
7. Durham Mug, because let’s face it: we all know I can’t let go.
8. Generic pile of important documents.
9. French Harry Potter — parce que, pourquoi non?
10. My PhD in a box, aka samples
11. God’s gift to PhD students —  noise-cancelling headphones
12. The reason I struggle; everything important is written on easily lost post-it notes.
13. Testing the theory of learning via osmosis.
14. Abusive notes left by a finalist
15. The plan of my life (or PhD, but that feels like your life).
16. Shower stuff, because I live here now….
17. Biscuits to prevent me from stealing food off all my other office mates (NB I still do steal food).

This story was published on July 26, 2018, on the blog Evidently Scientifical (available here) and has been republished here with permission.