Why I feel that PhDs are funny things

Gosh! Where do I begin? Well, we successfully climbed up The Old Man of Coniston, and made it in time to see the sunset. I have put up a few photos below. The entire week was magical. I never expected the Lake District to feel like a proper holiday, having only ever holidayed abroad. But, by Jove, I don’t remember the last time I felt so well rested, been out in the sun so long, or eaten so much butter (a bizarre requirement for a holiday, I know). We mostly spent our time sleeping, hill-walking, exploring, and sitting by the fire. We were blessed with glorious weather, and I was blessed with such wonderful company. We even had a little terrier/spaniel cross in our care for the week, which was an extremely welcome addition. The one thing that did disappoint and sadden me was the amount of rubbish we came across on our walks. On one occasion, we came across what should have been a pristine pond, but in it a school of tadpoles were clinging onto an empty hula hoop packet. It broke my heart. I did fish the packet out and made a vow to myself to overcome my disgust and frustration at other people’s waste, and clean up where I can. I have also recently ordered a guide from RSPCA on what we can do to be kinder to animals. I highly recommend it. You can order it for free here. We can all do something to make this world a better place. 

I think what this time away made me realise is how much I needed a proper break. Yes, I have been taking a day or two off, here and there, but I haven’t felt so peacefully disconnected from responsibility for a while; I think it served me well. It is very hard for me to admit, but I have been struggling lately, mostly subconsciously, with the weight of doing a PhD. I have been somewhat running away from it, and haven’t been putting as much effort as I really should into my project. I felt a little all over the place recently, felt a bit lost. With all of the travelling that I have had to do, it has been impossible to establish a routine, and that totally threw me off course. It upsets me, feeling like I have let myself down a little, especially as I love my project and enjoy doing all of the work for it. I guess we all struggle with ourselves at times. 

PhDs are funny things; you have a lot more time than you think, but also less time than you thought. It takes a long while to adjust to that concept, but I think I’m getting there. Admitting to my weaknesses here serves as a promise and a reality check to myself. Now that I have had a proper break, I am determined to do better, to brush up my act, and focus. 

I am still working on my literature review, and I am making good progress. I have learned that reading aloud what I have written helps me write better. I guess if it doesn’t make sense when you speak it, it most definitely won’t make sense when you write it. I have also learned that having a cup of tea, or a glass of wine – such as my current circumstance – really helps to lift one’s spirits, and assists with work.

Next week, I am fixating on a conference poster that I have to draft by the end of the month, and my literature review of course. I am also off to a music festival next weekend, so that should be fun. Work hard, play hard, right?

Anyway, here are some photos from my beautiful holiday. The first two are from the top of The Old Man of Coniston, the second is from a hill at Elterwater, the third is from a beach near there, and the last one is of ‘moos’ in Broughton in Furness.

Anastasia Doronina is a PhD researcher in Water Engineering. This story was published on May 20, 2018, on Anastasia’s blog, The Diary of a PhD Student (available here), and has been republished here with her permission.