Alternative answers to "So, what do you plan to do with that degree?"

Does anyone else get tired of hearing the question “So, what do you plan on doing with that?” whenever you tell them your academic plans?

My plan involves getting a PhD in philosophy. When I tell people this, I get responses that range from “Oh, what a unique career path!” to “That sounds… interesting?” to “So you want to work in retail?” By far, the most common response, however, is “So, what do you want to do with that?”

Being home for the holidays has meant answering that question a total of eight times already (and it’s only week one), so I’ve decided to have some fun with it instead of justifying the same career plans over and over.

Here are fun, alternate ways of answering the question - So, what do you want to do with that?

• “Become a better person so I’m more likely to wind up in the Good Place (the real one, not the one that Kristen Bell got sent to).”
• “Learn the best way to indoctrinate your children into my socialist cult.”
• “Find a way to stay in school so long, that I never have to pay off my student loans.”
• “I’m just making it up as I go. On an unrelated note, do you need a babysitter?”
• “Do research on things that I love but probably not get paid enough because academia is undervalued in our society.”
• “Read a bunch of abstracts and pretend like I read the whole paper.”
• “Be the reason rich, white, 20 year old men lose their scholarship.”
• “Run for President.”
• “Not fix the relationship I have with my mother, that’s for sure.”
• “I thought I’d give new meaning to the term ‘Influencer.’”
• “Single-handedly keep my counselor in business.”
• “Oh wait, I have to do something with my degree after I graduate?”
• “Invest in stocks for wine, then buy a whole bunch of wine. That’s how economics works, right?”
• “I haven’t figured it out yet. Can I shadow you?” (this only works for people who clearly hate their job or are perpetually and unwillingly unemployed)
• “Be incredibly pious.”
• “Be happy. I like what I do.”

In the end, it doesn’t matter what these people think about your career path. Keep kicking ass and ignore the cynicism. We go into our fields because we love it, so don’t feel the need to justify it. If you’ve had a glass of wine or four, you may even become sassy enough to give one of these reasons.

PhDoing Life is a Philosophy graduate student. This story was published on December 20, 2018, on the blog, PhDoing Life (available here), and has been republished here with permission.