PhD matters: It's time to finish what I started

So this blog came about as a reflective tool for my PhD journey. Although I love ‘the extended life’ this blog has taken on, it is, however, only fitting that I periodically reflect specifically on PhD matters.

So last week I finished my final data collection for my PhD… Moment

Last year I blogged about what a humbling and excruciatingly painful exercise it was to collect my quantitative data (questionnaire data). Some organizations (people in organizations I approached) were nice to me but, mostly, the organizations didn’t have time for me; some came across as annoyed at me for bugging them, some dismissed me, others ignored me, and some were just plain rude to me. I accepted this was part of my journey, also part of the colossal growth curve and maturation I experienced last year. Life’s lesson to me: Be compassionate Bronwyn.

Last year taught me to be compassionate, importantly, to myself first and then have the same compassion with others.

So anyway, after getting through that, eventually getting some data then analyzing it, then designing a conceptual model from the results, it was time to do part two of my data collection. Part two was to present the model to selected knowledge experts i.e. the Heads of Quality Departments in three strategically located pharmaceutical organizations in South Africa and obtain their opinions on it. I finished transcribing the last interview data last night and earlier tonight I started doing thematic analysis on my interview data using ATLASti.

Now it occurred to me that I could potentially feel stressed about this – after all, I have a deadline for the end of this month that I know I’m not gonna make. I could also be worried because I’ve never done qualitative data analysis for a project this big and this important on my own before – #NewExperience. My body instinctively starts to go tense at the thought of everything that is wrong and could go even more wrong.

And then, a little voice from my heart spoke to me and reminded me, “Bronwyn….. this is what you wanted, this experience is what your worked for and prepared for – this is it! Where is the logic in being stressed out about a situation which seemed like a dream come true a few years ago?“

I exhaled. Yes.

I must enjoy this moment. This is my journey. It is not easy but I am grateful. Tonight, I feel very loved and supported. The universe is in my favor. I am in my favor. It’s time to finish what I started.

Bronwyn Swartz is a Lecturer and postgraduate research supervisor at Cape Peninsula University of Technology (CPUT) in the Western Cape, South Africa. This story was published on June 3, 2018, on Bronwyn’s blog (available here), and has been republished here with her permission.